Today, I asked my boss for a raise. I pointed out that due to a technicality, if he hired someone to replace me, he'd have to pay them more anyway. He said he'd gladly pay more for "someone who knows his goddamn place" and made it clear I'll be jobless very soon. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I asked my boss for a raise, but he told me my position is a legal requirement that produces no profit, unlike every other employee, ergo if I’m feeling ungrateful about my generous wage, he will happily fire me and hire someone else at minimum wage, saving the company money. FML
Today, my boss found out I had applied for a much better paying job. He told me I'd do a better job and make more money there. Then he fired me. FML
Today, I met with my boss hoping to hear about a possible raise that had been promised many months ago. He then told me that the only way I would get a raise was if I found a better paying job and took it, and that the company was in no position to offer anyone a raise. FML
Today, I asked my boss for a raise. He responded with, "Who the hell are you?" FML
Today, my boss was fired by the board. A few days ago, he dropped several strong hints that he was going to promote me soon. FML
Today, I worked up the nerve to ask my boss for a raise. Today is also the day I found out my boss has a shitlist of employees he wants to fire, and that I'm now on it. FML
Today, I went to ask my boss for a raise. He laughed at me and said, "That's hilarious because I was going to ask you if you could take a pay cut!" FML
Today, the person recently hired to work in my spot during my days off started at a higher hourly rate than me, after I have been here for nearly three years. I asked for a raise and got a dollar more; meanwhile, my regional counterparts make 4 dollars more per hour. FML
Today, after putting in 110% at my shitty job for two years straight, my boss told me point-blank I'm too good in my current position for him to ever be able to justify promoting me. FML
Today, my boss asked that I add the work of our third coworker's position to my shift because he's never finished his duties. She gave us a 50 cent raise to "babysit" a 60-ish year-old man. I responded to respectfully fire him or pay me 20/hr. His last day is Friday and he doesn't even know yet. FML
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Top comments
PANDORUM89 21
Well putting it that way probably wasn't the best plan. Maybe you should've highlighted your worth to the company rather than whatever the hell you said.
ZoroMiHawk 25
Why would you point out that he'd have to pay more anyway if he hired someone else? You're pretty much arrogantly demanding for a raise because that's his only option anyway, not asking. Next time you ask for a raise, back it up by pointing out how your previous and current contributions to the company have made you a valuable asset to the company.
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Comments (72)
WarriorOmen 25
I could never work up the courage to ask for a raise. What you are hired at is what you're hired at. I'm too afraid of jepordizing the future by looking annoying. But then again, if you are ELIGIBLE for a raise I guess there's not too much harm in asking.
mrmcleod 29
I'm scared of change too.
BrotherPhil 35
That's kind of the point of "right to work": make the wage slaves too scared of losing their pittance to ask for a living wage.
cakefete2 31
You should hurry and start looking for a new job now. Companies love hiring when you already have a job. Also, if you get an offer for higher pay, you can really make your boss look dumb.
blindkid1790 12
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
welcome to the new America. you want more money for the hard work you do, they will find someone cheaper.
PresidentNorth 16
He clearly said he'd paid more to someone who'd be a bitch. Welcome to America where half the country can't read properly.
mrmcleod 29
Welcome the United States of America where reading comprehension is becoming a rare skill.
netflixislove 32
That sucks I'm sorry
Axipiter 24
For what? What'd you do?
ZoroMiHawk 25
Why would you point out that he'd have to pay more anyway if he hired someone else? You're pretty much arrogantly demanding for a raise because that's his only option anyway, not asking. Next time you ask for a raise, back it up by pointing out how your previous and current contributions to the company have made you a valuable asset to the company.
Lazy_B_ 11
Forget him find a job were you're actually appreciated.
iwadasn 33
YDI if that's the only reason you could think of for him to give you a raise.
vikky538 29
you pulled the string too hard OP...
skittyskatbrat 19
His choice, then. He's going to have to find and train someone during the holidays. Happy job hunting, and may you find one with more respect and a better paycheck.
pandalover69 26
You probably shouldn't have said anything about hiring another person.
eatsteak 20
Maybe you shoukd of asked them to look back the past 6 months and have shown improvement. earlier than a yearly look back sometimes it can work.