Today, I had to tell an adult man that, even though he’s friends with my roommate and the door is unlocked, he should definitely wait until someone answers the door before letting himself in. I almost shot him because he was rooting through my shit looking for his phone he'd "lost". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I knocked on the door of my friend’s apartment to surprise her. It opened, and an angry stranger shouted, “Who are you?” at me. I then realized I was on the wrong floor of the building. My friend still doesn’t know I almost barged in on her neighbor, because I'm too embarrassed to tell her. FML
Today, my roommate asked me to lock the door as we left our place. I told her to use my keys, because my hands were full. Afterwards, she and her boyfriend set off out of town for the next couple of days. She forgot to give me back my keys. FML
Today, my neighbor told me to stop pushing the elevator buttons and opening doors with my feet. I bitched him out, because he's been making a huge issue out of it for months. Right after, I realized I forgot my keys inside and he's the only person around who could let me back into the building. FML
Today, I woke up to my roommate's friend rustling in the attic without permission to be there. When I asked how he got in with all doors and windows locked, he simply said, "It's a secret." FML
Today, my dad walked in on me using the bathroom. After rushing out, he yelled at me through the door for not locking it. He made up the "no locking the doors inside the house" rule. FML
Today, I came home from a long day from work, only to find a strange woman in my apartment. She explained that my roommate told her it was OK to spend a few days here. I guess he forgot that the room was mine. FML
Today, my now ex-boyfriend called the cops on me and told them I wasn’t letting him in the house. His keys were in the door, he was just too drunk to unlock it. FML
Today, my roommate came home and instantly began raging, cursing, and threatening to kill me. While I was cowering in my bedroom, the police had to settle the situation. All I'd done was rearrange some furniture. FML
Today, I was taking a shit in my friend's bathroom when his brother's girlfriend walked in. Nobody decided to tell me that the lock didn’t work. FML
Today, I came home to find that my roommate had picked my lock and stolen my new laptop. When I tried to take it back, he called the police. They sided with him since he had also taken the receipt, which was "proof" that it was his. FML
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Top comments
Levi2411 41
I would sit your roommate down and set some ground rules, because that is heavily inappropriate. I doubt he was looking for his phone, and if it happens again call the police and find a different living arrangement. Also keep your door locked OP. Best regards.
Chazzster 32
Definitely replace your door latch with one that has a keyed lock or move. That A-hole was not “looking for his phone” he was looking for a something to steal.
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Comments (7)
Levi2411 41
I would sit your roommate down and set some ground rules, because that is heavily inappropriate. I doubt he was looking for his phone, and if it happens again call the police and find a different living arrangement. Also keep your door locked OP. Best regards.
Chazzster 32
Definitely replace your door latch with one that has a keyed lock or move. That A-hole was not “looking for his phone” he was looking for a something to steal.
bleachedraven 14
😭
Iamthebanzai22 21
Next time, just shoot him and get it over with. The world will be a better place.
red6joker 8
He was either being nosy, or just looking for something to steal. I doubt he was ready looking for a lost phone that just happens to be in "your stuff"
cacheson 42
So… start locking the door