Today, I attended a formal banquet. The host was delivering a speech, when I felt the urge to pee, so I tried to quietly excuse myself. My chair screeched over the floor as I got up, I tripped over my own feet, and I accidentally took the door leading outdoors, where I ended up peeing in shame. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to a dinner party. I had a bad stomach, so I made a dash to the bathroom and forgot to lock the door. While I was in, I heard some voices outside. In a panic, my reflex was to get up and lock the door. I did so, while simultaneously shitting all over myself. FML
Today, I was at work and I needed to pee. In my haste, I forgot to lock the door. A coworker walked in on me and I bolted up mid-stream to slam the door back shut. I had pee down my leg and pee squishing in my shoes for the rest of the day. I can still remember his tone of voice, yelling, "Sorry"! FML
Today, I was holding in pee because i was so busy at work. When I finally got up to relieve myself, I pulled down my pants, sneezed at that exact moment and peed all over the bathroom floor. FML
Today, I really had to pee during one of my college lectures. I finally worked up the nerve to leave the room while he was lecturing, and ran frantically to the bathroom. Once in there, the urge intensified to the point I couldn't hold it. I peed my pants while standing in the bathroom. FML
Today, I had to take a serious piss. I started urinating and leaned back slightly on my heels. Somehow I lost my balance and fell backward, hitting my head on the wall behind me and spraying myself and my entire bathroom with my own pee. FML
Today, I woke up desperately needing to pee. I sat up in bed, naked, and tried to decide if I should get dressed, or run for it and hope no one saw me. I guess I took too long to decide, because as soon as I stood up to run, I pissed on the floor. FML
Today, while in the airport waiting to board, I got the sudden urge to pee, so I ran to the bathroom feeling like my bladder was about to burst. I was so focused on relieving my bladder that I failed to notice the diarrhea covering the toilet seat and the wall behind it until I was sitting in it. FML
Today, I peed myself in the dressing room after work when I sneezed. Someone else just walked in as I was trying to dry off my jeans with paper, and probably smelled that I had peed myself. FML
Today, I was so drunk that I pissed myself in a hotel hallway while wearing a dress. My shoes squished all the way back to the room. FML
Today, I was at the movies with my boyfriend when I really had to pee. I tried to get out of the aisle in a hurry so I wouldn't disturb anyone when I tripped, landing on the people in the row in front of me. FML
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Top comments
XHerobrineX 4
..... It couldn't have gotten any worse :)
ConnorBrown36 5
That would really piss me off
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Comments (114)
KingCeltic77 18
You try to be as quiet as possible, and you are louder than a construction. On top of that, you pissed yourself. FYL.
Angelrose2004 17
It always seems to be the quieter you try to be, the more noise you end up making. But look on the bright side, OP. Everybody didn't stare and laugh... I hope.
nofearjenshere 12
I love you. ^
anoellem 1
At least you didn't pee yourself when you tripped :)
tennisrapper1 14
Well, at least you didnt get kicked in shame by chuck norris!
ElricMustang 23
I thought stuff like that only happened to that socially awkward kid in movies.
HeyMondayAddict 4
Have a nice trip! See you next fall! :D
perdix 31
Tie a knot in it, chief.
DocBastard 40
I hope your host and your peers weren't too peeved at you, though it would have been better not to have made a peep. At least you had some peece and quiet outside where no peeping Tom could peek at your peenis.
maniaccrab 0
Good job. You found a pun, where there was none. You put the pee, in penis. Then the pee in peace. Except inside there was no peace, and outside, he took the pee out of his penis. :P
zingline89 18
52 - Urine idiot
Devin91 20
Although that is embarrassing it could've been way worse seeing as how you could've peed on yourself or fell on top of someone as you tripped and then managed to pee on them.
nofearjenshere 12
Your pants are dangerously low there, buddy.
MysticKnight 3
33- why are you always focusing at places where you should not be focusing at?
nofearjenshere 12
Hmm, what do you mean, MysticKnight?
SpicyDuck 22
33, why complain?
SkoomaKi 28
#70 - I certainly don't want to see an almost naked guy in the FML comments. There's not need for it!
Keevarou 17
Some men just have the urge to expose themselves. And I could not agree more with the half naked statement, you don't need to be ripped and half naked to be a hot guy :) Some guys have natural beauty, not implying that being ripped is not natural. But really no need to show it off on FML, it's that kind of stuff I did when I was 14 or so, or I may just be really weird. Anyway! That's my two cents.
Devin91 20
Now they aren't.
ItsTheKing 10
"When the poor man decides to dry his clothes outside, it rains." In other words, you have very bad luck.
SliceOfCake 9
Thank you Chinese proverb guy.
perdix 31
Once you got outside, couldn't you have peed in some bushes or flower instead of in shame?