Today, after a year and a half of sticking to my new wife’s “no-sex-before marriage” rule while we dated, she brushed me off while I tried to consummate the marriage. Apparently, she’s not ready to have kids yet and “semen will get the sheets dirty.” Guess I’ll be jerking it on my honeymoon. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I still haven’t consummated my marriage with my new wife. She said no sex before marriage and I obliged for 2 long years. During our honeymoon, she kept making up excuses. Now when I sit down and talk to her, she calls me a “horny pervert” and accuses me of “using her for sex” and stormed off. FML
Today, it’s my honeymoon. I waited patiently for a year and a half to have sex since I respected her “No sex before marriage” rule. However, my new wife has a new rule: “Sex is for procreation and I’m not ready to have children yet.” How much longer should I wait to make love to the one I love now? FML
Today, it was my wedding night. My new wife decided that she was going to be “asexual” because “there are other ways to show your love without sex” and “If you wanna bust a nut, that’s what your hand is for.” She had the nerve to be confused as to why I am upset. FML
Today, I'm on my honeymoon. My husband and I cannot consummate our marriage, because his penis has an open wound due to… vigorous masturbation. FML
Today, it’s been over 15 months since I’ve had sex with my fiancé. We’re getting married next month. Now I'm wondering if we’ll have sex at all on our honeymoon. FML
Today, my wife decided to end our dry spell of four months and started dry humping and kissing me in bed. Things were going well until she orgasmed from the activity and declared that she was too tired to do any more, rolled over, and fell asleep. Five months or bust. FML
Today, I rejected my wife for sex. She then started to masturbate next to me. I got an erection. She then rejected me for sex. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I started to be intimate after a run of dry spells. I was looking forward to this, until one of our kids came barging into our room and ruined the moment for the rest of the night. FML
Today, my wife has been angry since she walked in on me masturbating. In our hotel room. In NYC. That I booked for our anniversary. That she doesn’t want to leave. Or have sex in. FML
Today, on our honeymoon, my wife still won't have sex with me. When I brought it up, she started crying and said she's still "not ready" for sex. We're both in our late twenties. When the fuck will she be ready? FML
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Top comments
Chazzster 32
One word “annulment”…
poopface82 25
Uh, yeah, she’s frigid. She either will never have sex with you or will only do so if she thinks children will be a possibility. She probably either has a low sex drive or a lot of religious trauma, and the odds of being able to come back from this are slim.
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Comments (18)
spinningrecords 14
Before you pull you must annul
spinningrecords 14
You’ve already wasted a year and a half of your life
Brightside86 31
Seems weird to me how many people on this site are married to people they barely know.
RichardPencil 32
Haven't you been jerking it for the past year and a half anyways? You should be good at it by now.
lastjedi 3
get it annulled now before you are miserable the rest of your life and have a kid with her. she sounds bitter and frigid
Blobby McGee 5
you probably don't want to hear it, but I'll say it anyways: she is getting it from somewhere else. You are the nice guy to settle with, but she is still getting stuffed by someone else. Private investigator, lawyer up, she belongs to the streets
manb91gb 15
This is why no sex before marriage is the dumbest concept