Today, my fiancé and I were cuddling in bed talking about our future wedding coming up. He leaned over seductively to tell me he got a present for me to ‘use’ on our wedding day. It was a pack of breath mints. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my new husband and I were called up to have our first dance at our wedding. While I rested my head on his shoulder, he whispered the most romantic thing to me: "Your breath stinks." FML
Today, I woke up and my husband said he got me a gift for our one year anniversary and that it was on the table. We laid around cuddling and when I finally got up I was expecting to walk out to beautiful bouquet of flowers. I got two packs of cigarettes. FML
Today, my loving fiancé informed me that my new perfume makes me smell like a urinal cake. FML
Today, I opened some small cute birthday gifts at my boyfriend's house. As we left to go out, he slipped me a Tiffany box and said he wanted me to open it in private. Flushed and excited, I open it to find a Ziploc bag filled with hair. It was thd mustache I'd been begging him to shave for months. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had a picnic on the beach. It was so romantic and perfect. He leant forward to kiss me. Once we had kissed he said, "We haven't even started eating yet", and passed me a mint. FML
Today, my fiancé hugged me so tight that I couldn't move, said he loved me, let out a loud, obnoxious and smelly fart cloud and made me breathe it in. FML
Today, I ate an entire pack of breath mints in preparation for a date. Instead of giving me fresh breath, it gave me a terrible case of diarrhea. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were kissing. Halfway through the kiss, he rubs his tongue along all my teeth and says, "You need to brush your teeth." FML
Today, I asked my fiance for some attention. He licked my cheek and attached himself to my leg. He's 34 years old. FML
Today, I was trying on lingerie in the dressing room of Victoria’s Secret with my boyfriend next to me. I told my him in a seductive, playful tone “You can stay and watch if you give me a piece of your gum.” He said “No I only have three more” and left the room. FML
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Top comments
Dogmaw 0
Are you sure he wasn't going for that "peppermint BJ" action? I mean, either you need those mints or you don't.
moony_fml 0
lol #1 What can i say...very smooth fiancee
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Comments (100)
summer24 0
It's not that bad
bosshaug 0
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Jdeluxh 12
U deserved that one. I can smell u from here.
lancers15 0
Wow ur husband is a doucher have fun living your life with him !
KillaKellaz 0
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAAHAHAAHAHAHAHAA
rakhil11 7
i'm 12 and i realize it's 4 a *******....
pyros09 0
And that's something to be proud of?
chapinitachic 0
Definitely for a bj. no need to worry.
Charlieeeeeeeeee 0
Haha lol Just take it as a joke jeez I hate these FMLs just overreacting
HyperExecuter 0
#91, shut thefuck up u little 12 year old. u dint know shit so stop being a bitch
browniie_fml 3
Use your creativity ? :)