Today, I had to wait outside Starbucks. While standing, I started daydreaming and didn't notice I had been staring at a table beside the window for a long time. Suddenly, someone came up to me and said, "Try not to be so obvious." Sitting at the table was a girl with a huge cleavage. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I had to repeat my order in Starbucks three times because the barista was staring at my chest. FML
Today, I was wearing my new sunglasses while watching a basketball game. A pretty hot looking girl was sitting a few spots next to me so I stared at her breasts. A few minutes later, I looked up at her face and she was looking at me in disgust. It turns out that my sunglasses were see through. FML
Today, I went to grab a coffee at a new café in town. While sipping my coffee, I noticed a man staring at me through the window. I thought he was browsing the menu before I looked up mid-sip to him staring at me in the eye, sucking on his finger. FML
Today, I was at Starbucks after having a rough day. The old man beside me was talking to his friend. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him point at me and say, "See that beautiful girl over there?" Flattered, I listened closer… until he finished his statement with, "She's gonna die." FML
Today, during my shift at a restaurant, my boss's daughter came in. I couldn't help but notice that she was almost popping out of her low-cut top. After having a private chat with her, my boss took me aside and said, "My daughter's got eyes you know, not just a pair of tits". FML
Today, while waiting in line at Starbucks, the person behind me started venting about their breakup. I assumed they were on the phone with a friend, so I nodded along. After 5 minutes, I realized they were talking directly to me. I ended up giving relationship advice while holding a frappuccino I didn’t even order. FML
Today, I went out to lunch with a girl I like and her best friend. We had a good time, even talked for a few hours at the restaurant, but after we left, she stopped talking to me. Her friend told her that I kept staring at her chest; I was trying to see what her pendant was. FML
Today, I was creeping on a girl, looking at her tattoos and getting stimulated while she was sitting down in the carriage next to ours. From the looks of it, it looked like she was looking at her phone, but she was actually staring dead at me. FML
Today, I went to my local coffee shop. I soon witnessed the girl making my drink apparently dislodge a wedgie from her ass-crack and then sneeze into her hands. When I confronted her, she loudly accused me of "visually molesting" her. FML
Today, I went to the movies. A really cute girl sat beside me. I tried to strike up a conversation with her until she turned to look at me and I realized he was a guy. I couldn't even finish the movie because I felt his judging eyes burn holes into me the entire time. FML
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Top comments
Calamity157 0
lmao, im starting to wonder what u were day dreaming about.....
lifedoessuck12 0
Actually no, we don't have Starbucks here in the Philippines. I just made that story up. We still live in caves, paint on walls, and hunt woolly mammoths using sticks and stones.
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Comments (107)
Paige_Nicole10 0
i dont get why this one is an fml?
Nomad609 0
If it happeened to you, you would probably be embarrassed.
Paige_Nicole10 0
actually it happens all the time and im never embarrassed
mjsdabeast 0
woohoo 6th!!!!!!! you guys all suck balls!!!!!
fuckitfuckitfuck 0
yum. lmao. epic fail.
FarSide 23
So what? If they are in public, you have a right to stare, just like you have the right to ignore. If the person has an issue with the stare, THEY are the one with the problem; albeit you might be an obnoxious ass.
kath91 0
I can sympathise with that
f_my_life88 0
You should've said: "Don't flatter yourself too much"
cutebebe778 0
While I agree that staring is definitely pushing it.. if she was wearing something that emphasized her huge ****, she was pretty much asking for it. Not that I'm saying she was..but you dress slutty, you ask for creepy stares. If she wasn't, then yeah, she had every right to be pissed off..but sometimes it's hard to tell when people are staring or daydreaming. Lol
123sploosh 0
YDI for day dreaming.
123sploosh 0
YDI for day dreaming.
cocky 0
how is this a FML? you got to see huge, apparently nice, ****.
plexico 4
Very fat women have huge cleavage. It would have been nice if the OP had mentioned whether he was staring at beautiful **** or a beached whale. And what was he daydreaming about: motorboats?
Kevinn_fml 0
ahaha i probly would be :$