Today, my roommate unexpectedly came home with a new puppy. I'm severely allergic to dogs. When I reminded her of this, she explained that the puppy was her family now and if I didn't like it I should move out because blood is thicker than water. My roommate is my sister. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my wife isn't speaking to me and is considering separation because I got rid of the puppy she surprised me with for my birthday. She knows I hate dogs and I'm severely allergic to them, but thought it would be a happy case of "Dad later falls in love." FML
Today, after leaving my mom's house, I got 4 text messages from her about how I was a terrible person for not saying goodbye to my sister when I left. The "sister" she was referring to is the family dog. FML
Today, my mom confessed to loving my "little sister" more than she loves me. My "little sister" is the family dog. FML
Today, it's my wife's birthday. Since I had work, I gave her $200 to spend on herself and left. When I came back with dinner and the movie she wanted, I found her with a dog. She is very attached to him because the shelter was going to put him down. I love him, but I'm allergic to dogs. FML
Today, my sister came to stay with me in my apartment for the last few weeks of her difficult pregnancy. However she didn't tell me she was bringing her two dogs, her jackass of a husband, my bratty nephew, and an inflatable kiddie pool so she could have a natural water birth in my living room. FML
Today, to celebrate moving into a new apartment, my girlfriend decided she would get a kitten. She didn't know I'm allergic to cats. When I told her, she decided that she couldn't date someone who couldn't be around her cat; the one she doesn't have yet. FML
Today, my asshole of a roommate finally decided to move out. Not only did he take his belongings with him, he took some of mine as well. Including my dog. FML
Today, I've been living with my new roommate's dogs for three days now. In an ironic twist, the small one is very well-behaved, while the two big ones are disobedient little shits. Every day, I get a thousand more reminders as to why I'm a cat person. I can't do this anymore. FML
Today, after I got off work, as I walked into the house, I noticed something running across the floor towards me and out of complete terror I kicked it halfway across my living room, not knowing what it was. Turns out it was my roommate's new puppy. FML
Today, my girlfriend got evicted for having too many dogs. She expects me to let her and all 5 dogs live in my one-bedroom apartment. When I told her no, that I’d get evicted too, she said that should be a sacrifice I’m willing to make for “our family” if I really loved her. They aren’t even my dogs. FML
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Top comments
Aeroxx1337 17
Clearly her skull is thicker than her blood.
Miss_Latina 13
Now you have 2 bitches as roommates
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Comments (100)
Shazam25 7
I'd move out just to get away from the stupid. o.o;
Enslaved 38
I guess the sister doesn't realize that the new puppy can't help with the rent and utility payments. :P
TheAbstract 15
The sarcasm was pretty obvious actually.. You guys are just goons.
DKjazz 20
Remind her of the meaning of the phrase "Blood is thicker than water".
lolita88_fml 27
That phrase has an entirely different meaning actually. Just type in that phrase and cracked.com, it'll show you a cool explanation.
tarabara17 15
Blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb.
DKjazz 20
I didn't know that! Go figure.
lolita88_fml 27
#30 - ^o^ absolutely right!
alycion 39
Charge her for the allergy tests and treatments. Actually, depending on the allergy, it is possible to live in peace with the dog. I'm allergic to cats and have 2. The allergy wipes at the store do a decent job with OTC allergy meds. I will be adding shots soon. My others jot allergy is oak trees which my property is covered with. I know some allergies are more severe then others and these are not options for everyone.
rawr_ily96 24
I've been allergic to dogs my whole life and my family has 3. I went through two years worth of allergy shots just to be able to live without constant sniffling and sneezing. It does work, so consider this OP. I still think moving out and letting your sister pay rent on her own would be much better though.
rt156 16
Its suprising to me how people can be so selfish sometimes and in this case ur own sister,but looking at it frm ur sis's prespective i guess she always wanted a dog but could never get one because of u.now that she is old enough to live alone she can finally get a dog that she always wanted
vipirius 18
Yeah, bit she ISN'T living alone, that's the problem.
queerdragon 20
If Op's sister wants the dog then she should move out. I have had roommates who thought because they were adults they could do as they liked. One roommate brought in a ferret, which was against our "no pets allowed" policy. I was almost kicked out because of her. She ended up moving in with her boyfriend to keep it and I had to find a new roommate.
gottageek 17
I find it more surprising that you'll take the time to spell out larger words then lazy out with 'u'. Regardless of her sister wanting a puppy or being an age where she may be legally an adult, that's a dick move.
toneeangel 22
What big words? You mean the adult words used to express a point
Altie 13
Blood is thicker than water, but water tastes better!
imlifeless2 25
but pure water has no taste...
RensM 22
Guess you are sleeping in the dog house now
Nessuh95 7
Your "sister" is a dick.
NoFlippinWai 24
Your sister is a dog. By your sisters definition.
Fmlsea 28
sounds like she wanted you to move out, and that this was an easy way to do it. if that was the case she could've gone about that in a better way .