Today, my boss called me into his office. He had a huge smile on his face, so I assumed I was going to get promoted. He then sat down, and told me that he had been sleeping with my wife for the last three months. He still had a huge smile on his face. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got a promotion because my boss “accidentally” had sex with my wife. FML
Today, my coworker and I agreed to come clean and tell our fellow employees that we have been secretly dating for a while. Before we could, I received a promotion. I'm now his boss. FML
Today, I was yelled at and fired by my boss. He claimed that I've been sleeping with his wife. I've never met his wife. FML
Today, it was the first day after my promotion. Everyone, including myself, was shocked that I was promoted so quickly. I figured it was because of all the hard work and overtime I'd put in. However, my coworkers figure I'm just sleeping with the boss, and constantly glare and snicker behind my back. FML
Today, my boss/husband fired me from my job because I didn't sleep with him last night. FML
Today, I walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room of our restaurant. I pretended I didn't see him and quickly closed the door. About five minutes later, he came out, cupped my face in his hands and told me I was getting promoted. I'm happy, but scarred for life. FML
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. My boss called me into her office and congratulated me, and spent almost half an hour asking me what our wedding plans were, where we might honeymoon, if we wanted kids, etc. She then followed this by suddenly remembering she had called me into the office to sack me. FML
Today, I woke up to a phone call from my boss's wife. She demanded to know how long we'd been sleeping together. When I denied her allegations, she screamed that she knew all about my "history of sleeping with married men." I'm a virgin and I have to work with him tomorrow. FML
Today, my boss came to my cubicle to give me my annual performance bonus. I was asleep at my desk. FML
Today, when I walked into work all of my co-workers were giggling and asking "How was YOUR night last night?". Last night I had sex for the first time with someone I'm seeing secretly (with good reason). That person is my boss. He told everyone. FML
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Top comments
Intoxicunt 6
Put a huge smile on as you kick him in the balls. FYL though.
p00p0ster0us 0
Seriously? What was he hoping to get out of that? And as for your wife, well, gee man all I can say is that's horrible. THAT'S a true FML if I ever heard one.
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Comments (177)
midwestjerk 0
That is the point at which you kick his ass, punch him in the throat, and then force his jaws open while you shit in his mouth.
SEPHARAD 0
You can sue him for unprofessional behavior.
SheriffBart 0
Dumbass. "Unprofessional behavior" is not a valid cause of action anywhere. Hell, we don't even know if his boss is a professional, which would seem to be a necessary element of any such claim. By the way, "professional" has a pretty specific definition for legal purposes.
Polionixon 2
hahahaha wow your boss has some big balls.
xHaniffax 0
quit...and then MERK THE ****** bet he won't be smiling then
Cupcake10 0
did you beat his ass?
wikifoo 0
call HR
popoman 0
Probably the only mature suggestion so far here.
lovesucksxxx 0
So, how did you kill him?
magichateball 0
put power steering fluid in the master cylinder for his brakes. the power steering fluid will corrode his brake lines and theyll fail, hopefully while your cheating ***** of a wife is in it with him....2 birds with one stone!
magneticcheese 0
I'm hoping you beat his ass. What a friggin' douche, who does that? Let alone CONTINUES smiling after they admitted something like that? p.s: throw all your wife's belongings out onto the street and lock her out LOL
MrCanoe 5
WOW, that guy is an ultimate asshole, i'm betting he was saying to himself when he told you this that "Ha i'm ******* your wife and i'm your boss so you can't do shit or i'll fire you" I would of risked the job loss and beat the shit of of him