Today, my boss called me into his office. He had a huge smile on his face, so I assumed I was going to get promoted. He then sat down, and told me that he had been sleeping with my wife for the last three months. He still had a huge smile on his face. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got a promotion because my boss “accidentally” had sex with my wife. FML
Today, my coworker and I agreed to come clean and tell our fellow employees that we have been secretly dating for a while. Before we could, I received a promotion. I'm now his boss. FML
Today, I was yelled at and fired by my boss. He claimed that I've been sleeping with his wife. I've never met his wife. FML
Today, it was the first day after my promotion. Everyone, including myself, was shocked that I was promoted so quickly. I figured it was because of all the hard work and overtime I'd put in. However, my coworkers figure I'm just sleeping with the boss, and constantly glare and snicker behind my back. FML
Today, my boss/husband fired me from my job because I didn't sleep with him last night. FML
Today, I walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room of our restaurant. I pretended I didn't see him and quickly closed the door. About five minutes later, he came out, cupped my face in his hands and told me I was getting promoted. I'm happy, but scarred for life. FML
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. My boss called me into her office and congratulated me, and spent almost half an hour asking me what our wedding plans were, where we might honeymoon, if we wanted kids, etc. She then followed this by suddenly remembering she had called me into the office to sack me. FML
Today, I woke up to a phone call from my boss's wife. She demanded to know how long we'd been sleeping together. When I denied her allegations, she screamed that she knew all about my "history of sleeping with married men." I'm a virgin and I have to work with him tomorrow. FML
Today, my boss came to my cubicle to give me my annual performance bonus. I was asleep at my desk. FML
Today, when I walked into work all of my co-workers were giggling and asking "How was YOUR night last night?". Last night I had sex for the first time with someone I'm seeing secretly (with good reason). That person is my boss. He told everyone. FML
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Top comments
Intoxicunt 6
Put a huge smile on as you kick him in the balls. FYL though.
p00p0ster0us 0
Seriously? What was he hoping to get out of that? And as for your wife, well, gee man all I can say is that's horrible. THAT'S a true FML if I ever heard one.
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Comments (177)
uneekfreak16 0
Your boss is such a douche. That sucks, especially when you were expecting to get promoted.
islaphippos 0
sucks dude, just buy a bazooka and you figure out the rest
allmidnighteyes 11
This is when you take the opportunity to sleep with HIS wife and tell him 3 months later.
stephan18 23
If HIS own wife would cheat on him, I don't think he'd have a chance with his bosses wife! Seriously, grow some balls, beat the shit out of him and leave the *****..
OuttaMyElement 0
Maybe he's smiley when nervous and expecting to get his ass kicked.
saze_fml 0
OP please tell me your next FML will read something like "I got fired today after putting my boss in a coma"
cpatrick820 3
Hmm. Yeah, he would've had some interesting x-rays to show people after I was done with him. Then I would have gone home, acted very nice to my wife, get it on with her, and finish by giving her natural hairgel. THEN I would tell her what I learned today. But that's just me.
fmh123 0
Beat the living shit out of him
Learxst 0
Do what Edward Norton did in Fight Club, and beat yourself to a bloody pulp until security arrives.
Antici_x_Pation 0
that'd be hilarious!
KumoFF7 3
YDI for drinking expired milk.
kayeeeeee 0
Yur Not Funny -.-
thereitgo 1
You probably don't even know what he's talking about, 11-year-old.
teehee520 0
So.... did you end up getting the promotion? FYL