Today, I went to the doctor for horrible stomach pains. He said I had an abnormal amount of stool in me, and that I'd need to flush it out. I called my mom and told her what happened, to which she responded, "I always knew you were full of shit, I didn't need a doctor to tell me that." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after months of incredibly painful stomach cramps, I convinced my mom that I needed to see a doctor. Not even 2 minutes into the exam, the doctor tells me that I'm heavily constipated and advised some "prune juice" to help "clear all that shit out". My mom won't stop laughing at me. FML
Today, I woke up with extreme stomach pains. After being rushed to the hospital and having numerous tests performed, I was told my intestines were over-stretched with stool. I'm essentially so full of shit it hurts. FML
Today, I felt a very sharp pain, like my appendix was going to burst. After going to the doctor, I was rushed to the hospital to get tests done. The doctors later told me there's nothing wrong, I was just constipated. I went to the hospital for them to basically tell me I'm full of shit. FML
Today, my mother made me see the doctor to see if I had irritable bowel syndrome, on the account of how often I go to the restroom. I then had to admit I only go in there to get away from my family. My doctor thought it was hilarious. My mom didn't. FML
Today, after having horrific constipation the day before, I finally got the rock hard turd out of my system. Things got awkward as I cried out in pain and my mom asked me what was wrong. Realizing the dining room and kitchen was nearby, I said "Never mind, it's gross!" I think she figured it out anyways. FML
Today, I ended up taking a massive dump after being constipated for a while. I thought I was alone, so I pretended I was giving birth to my turd, and let out all kinds of sound effects. Next thing I know, I hear a knock at the door and my mom asking, "Should I call 911?" FML
Today, I had debilitating stomach cramps and told my mom, but she said she was too tired to take me to the ER. I had appendicitis. Thanks Mom. FML
Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML
Today, my mom decided to infodump on me as I came home needing to take a shit. She wouldn't stop talking and calling me back when I tried to walk off. I couldn't get a word in, and she was ignoring my gestures. She's now calling me disrespectful because I finally ran off and dropped a loud one in the toilet. FML
Today, I had horrible pains in my stomach area so I went to the doctors. They couldn't find anything wrong and sent me to the Emergency Room for X-rays. After spending the entire day in the hospital, they tell me I'm slightly constipated. I had to pay $400 to find out I had to take a shit. FML
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Top comments
IllegalLight 0
zing!
intensitive 11
One word: Fiber.
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Comments (136)
blastvortex 4
Hahaha. That sucks, but your mom has a great sense of humour, even if it is sophomoric.
HollywOOd21 0
LMAO! Your mom is awesome! Funnyass shit!
cml210 0
hahaha my mom would say the sane thing
RyanZhang22 1
that's a owning mom. she sounds like my kinda girl.( just kidding, don't worry)
autistic_pride 0
How did the mom know about the girl's medical problem before she even saw a doctor? I don't get it.
kelleyb323 0
wow.. her mom was joking as in the saying "you're so full of shit.."
autistic_pride 0
I've heard that saying before but I've never understood it.
kelleyb323 0
your mom is funny.. how is this an FML?
kelleyb323 0
by the way, you deserve it for not realizing that your stomach cramps were related to the fact that you hadn't taken a shit in over a week. buy some ******* laxatives and save yourself a trip.
blythe_lyx 0
I had this kind of problem before when I was a kid.. It's sux, pity u.
LiquidBaseline 0
HAHA, poor you, but the comment of your mom is hilarious. Big time WIN!
ftwandu2 0
this really isn't worthy of being on here infact at no point during your incoherent rambling did u make any sense everyone in the room is now dumber for having read this, I award you no points And may God have mercy on your soul