Today, not wanting to be known as a lightweight anymore, I started drinking with some guy friends. After one beer, I ended up in bed with one of them, who kindly put my bra back on for me after, as I was too sloshed. I'm no longer known as lightweight, but instead, the slutty drunk. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was so drunk that my friends put me to bed during a party. Later I find out that while I was passed out two of my friends came in and had sex while I was in the same bed. They tried to use me as a prop. Now my friends call me the love wedge. FML
Today, I got drunk at a party at our house. At the end, my husband passed out, so his best friend and I carried him to bed. His best friend is stupidly hot and I get horny when I'm drunk, so on a whim I made a pass at him. He shut me down and later told my husband. FML
Today, I was out having a beer with a few friends. After getting a pint, I slipped in a puddle of beer, fell on top of a stranger on the sofa, and knocked my beer upside down on my head. Then, completely soaked, I realized I'd also knocked over the table, spilling its content on a poor girl across it. FML
Today, I found out what a lightweight my girlfriend is. After having a couple of drinks, she began flirting, then grabbed my ass. She felt around a bit before freaking out and asking where my penis was. FML
Today, feeling lonely after my recent breakup, I put on my nicest clothes and went out clubbing with a few friends. I brought a guy back to my place, and we got intimate. It was going well, until he took off my push-up bra, then panicked and drunkenly asked, "Where'd they go?!" FML
Today, after a long night of drinking and partying, I woke up in my bed next to a beast of a woman. At least I know I made it home safely. FML
Today, I went to a party that my friends were throwing. I had a great time and got blackout drunk. I woke up to videos from my girlfriend from last night. At some point I'd managed to take off my shorts and boxers and spent the rest of the party naked from the waist down. FML
Today, my drunk boyfriend called me by my best friend's name in bed. FML
Today, I woke up when the guy I had spent the night with slid out of bed. When he realized I was awake, he looked down at me, shook his head, and said "I've gotta lay off the beer..." FML
Today, I woke up naked next to my gay roommate after a night of drinking. Neither he nor I remember anything. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
zanyone 0
so is one beer the most you have ever drank? sounds like a date rape drug to me.
MyNameIsAudrey 0
I've heard of a four beer queer but that is just ridiculous.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (308)
piguy314 0
Somebody has to put out, might as well be you.
yesmy_love 0
.........was it a 40oz?!
Ilovelife07 0
theres no way one beer got you drunk. one beer wouldnt even get a 7 year old drunk
ferboy2 0
FYL for not being able to handle alcohol!
rusticlove09 0
good for you.
CPTobvious_fml 0
I would have to agree with #6 as well. Even if you were starving yourself, 1 beer isn't going to get your sloshed. They put something in that drink.
simplyabsurd 0
Can I have your number? lol. one beer. wow. So you weigh like 6 lbs, right? Or is your stomach insanely porous and you absorb alcohol at triple the rate? Wait. No, I got it. You should really be asking yourself why you're not being honest about wanting to sleep with this guy before you got drunk. I've never seen anyone do anything drunk that they just didn't have the balls to do sober. And I drink a lot. So, blame yourself for not being honest with yourself. As far as anyone calling you a ****? Hit em with a used tampon. It's funny and they'll never make fun of you again.
Dhamy 0
. . . 1 beer? do you weigh 50 pounds? I mean, I'm an easy drunk too, but not 1 beer.
tyler26m 0
wanna have drinks?
cselby 0
hahaha this reminds me of that family guy episode where they parody the drunk girl at a party.. "OMGG, this song is about me!!!! I just smoked the wrong end of a cigaretteeeeee!"