Today, my husband and I woke up to see my drunk mother passed out on our couch. She was wearing nothing but socks. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my husband recorded me getting out of bed and sleepwalking all the way into the backyard and straight into our pool. He was too busy giggling like a schoolgirl to help me out. FML
Today, my wife, who has a drinking problem, looked me straight in the eye as she poured herself a "water" bottle to enjoy while at work. FML
Today, my mother gave me a bottle of stool softeners as a gift at my baby shower. FML
Today, my wife and I decided to celebrate Christmas Eve with her side of the family. When we arrived at her parents' house, I heard her mother say that Christmas miracles don't exist since my wife brought me along. FML
Today, I caught my dad sneaking a drink of whiskey outside, shortly before my wedding. I asked if he was seriously getting drunk at a time like this. He looked at me and scoffed, "It's the only way I'm gonna get through this stupid shit." FML
Today, I woke up next to my roommate staring in horror. She said I was singing and farting in my sleep. Loudly. FML
Today, I horribly lost a game of basketball against my dad. It wouldn't have been so humiliating if he hadn't been piss drunk at the time. FML
Today, I woke up with a vicious hangover. It wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't woken up to dozens of cans strewn all over the floor. I don't remember buying half the store's supply of pork and beans. FML
Today, I lost my dog. I looked around my neighborhood for hours, and found him under my bed asleep when I got home. FML
Today, I went to a Nativity play. My husband showed up late and drunk, and I had to explain to him why booming, "Yeah! Time to get baby Jesus up in this shit!" when our son was about to go on stage got us kicked out. FML
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Top comments
airborn54 0
Dear God I hope there was not a threesome
LemonStarship 5
D: That face says it all.
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Comments (137)
StrawberryBarbie 0
did you kick her out? I wouldn't want some one naked on my couch.....
bullrider92 19
She was drinking tequila and it made her clothes fall off.
CallMeHush 1
Does anyone remember getting laid last night by a cougar in socks?
kai_ngo 0
I would've screamed. F both you and you husband's life for having to see that.
EmoBallerina666 0
I'd go to therapy to get that image out of my rad if I were you lol that shit scares for life, you'll prolly never look at her the same again
Lowlife_23 0
O M G.
thehoneybadger 10
Taking embarassing family members to a new extreme.
practicesafesax 0
Seeeeeeee, this boys and girls, is why you lock your door at night.
sassypants9497 0
my hero.
soulfulemo 0
well the socks come off last; if not at all