Today, I was in an elevator, and the hot girl who lives in my building and who I have a crush on got in. She was in a wheelchair with a broken leg, I panicked and tried to flirt with her, and I said, "Nice chair." She replied, "Nice bruise" and punched me in the nuts. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while in the elevator with the girl from my office that I've been crushing on, but never spoken to, I said "aren't elevators awkward?" After a long silence, she got off three floors before our office. FML
Today, I was riding up an escalator in the mall in uncomfortable high heels. While adjusting my bag I suddenly lost my balance and began flailing wildly. In desperation I hurled forward and ended up grabbing a teenage boy's buttocks and was promptly slapped by his girlfriend. FML
Today, I was getting onto an airplane and happened to admire the stewardess. I was walking onto the plane and was just about to talk to her when my foot slipped into the crack between the boarding ramp and the plane. Not only did she laugh as I limped to my seat but now I have bruised nuts. FML
Today, I was in the elevator with my female coworker and a very attractive teen in front of us. My coworker reached out and grabbed the boobs of the teen in front of us, and blamed it on me. I got yelled at, kneed in the crotch, and punched in the face. My coworker couldn't stop laughing. FML
Today, I tried to impress a girl by draping my arm over the back of her chair. I ended up elbowing her in the nose. FML
Today, I was the only one in an elevator when an attractive girl came in, talking on her phone. She told her friend, "I have to go, there's a cute guy on this elevator." Before I could even react, she turned to me and said, "Sorry for lying, I really wanted to get off the phone with her." FML
Today, I was at the gym when I noticed a girl I like working out on the elliptical. I went to go say hi, but chickened out and went to run on the treadmill in front of her instead. I was so nervous that I tripped and the machine threw me headfirst into her machine. FML
Today, I was riding the bus home from college. I was standing in the aisle and there was a rather cute girl sitting next to me. The bus came to an abrupt stop, I tripped, and fell into her lap. She shrieked, "Eww! Get off me!" and shove me onto the floor of the bus. Nice to know I'm revolting. FML
Today, I was running on the treadmill at my local gym when I saw a girl I like a lot. I called out to her to say hi. As she was coming over, I accidentally stepped on the belt with one foot, crashed down on the treadmill, and continued to slide down in front of her, emerging with a gashed knee and arm. FML
Today, I arrived to apply for my much-needed dream job. Without warning, just as the elevator opened, a complete stranger kicked me square in the nads. FML
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Top comments
Rocyer 0
Nice bruise.
doink 0
Did she have a Hoveround? If she did then technically you wouldn't have been lying.
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Comments (166)
cainchild 4
Violence against men is totally acceptable and hilarious. Imagine the genders being reversed.
Jewbenita 0
i dont see how making a sarcastic comment about her injury (im sure intended as a joke) would be considered a method of flirting. try starting a conversation if anything (ie: what happened to your leg?) then take things from there.
Peacelove0404 26
Just ask "How'd you break your leg?" and keep up a conversation. Idiot.
drayloon 50
well thats the closest shes probably gonna get to touching your junk anyway
disguy115 4
Girls need to understand that guys can be weird and say stuff like. They shouldn't just go around unching people in the nuts for one comment.
Dilwann 27
Such a guy thing to say... Guys need to get over girls being less pleasant when they're on their period. But do you stop complaining? No. So let us complain about guys being jerks while trying to 'flirt'.
xRezSynn 15
Why would anyone say that?
MadisonDerp 16
Well that's probably the only time she'll ever touch your penis. Savor that bruise, OP.
meatmaeta 21
'I panicked and tried to flirt with her.'
Isandri 29
as if elevator rides weren't sufficiently awkward.
TheVurcle 10
Why would you try to flirt with her when she's in a wheel chair? Now you sound desperate YDI
fantasyworld 39
She probably thought you were being sarcastic, still no one deserves that.