Today, I was in church. During the prayer, I moved my foot and it pressed against the automatic button on my umbrella causing it to suddenly open. As if that wasn't bad enough, I screamed simultaneously at the shock. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, as I entered a stairwell, the fire alarm went off, triggering the automatic fire doors to close. The one I was walking through ran over my foot, ripping my toenail, and then smacked me in the face. FML
Today, I was using a public restroom when the automatic toilet flushed prematurely. The sudden gush of water startled me so much that I jumped up and slipped, hitting my head on the stall door. A concerned stranger had to help me up. FML
Today, as I was closing my car door, I realized I had left the keys in the ignition. Not wanting to lock myself out, I reached to stop the door from closing. Not only did I scream when the door slammed on my hand, but in my furious pain, I leaned on the door, locking my keys inside. FML
Today, I sneaked out of work early. I tripped over my own feet while walking up to my car. As I fell, I managed to hit the panic button on my car keys, setting off my car alarm while I lay flat on the ground in the parking lot. FML
Today, my fire alarm startled me so badly that I shat myself. FML
Today, I tripped while rushing to my classes. In a desperate attempt to regain my balance, I grabbed the nearest thing to me. A fire alarm. FML
Today, I tried to open a door with a dramatic kick, like in the movies. The door didn’t budge, but my shoe flew off and hit me in the face. FML
Today, I tried to quietly leave a public toilet at work without anyone noticing how long I'd been in there. The automatic hand dryer turned on as I walked past, making me jump so hard, I walked straight into the door. FML
Today, during a snowstorm, I opened my car door to get out. The wind snapped it wide open, then immediately changed course and swung it back at me just as I stepped out, spilling an entire hot cup of coffee all over me. FML
Today, at church, I sneezed suddenly and messily into my hand just as the priest asked us to stand and greet our neighbors with a handshake. FML
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Top comments
teentee401 37
Did you at least scream "HOLY SHIT"?
HoboMeth 36
Pray people don't get mad
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Comments (61)
thatguy240 27
Blame it on the Holy Ghost
beeferjay 34
umbrellas are the devil, bobby Boucher!!!
Tripartita 45
*extensive
WOTAN1488 24
YOU ARE FULL OF THE DEVIL! Your umbrella is tempting you!
Tripartita 45
"Make a joyful noise to the Lord, all the earth; break forth into joyous song and sing praises!" "AAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaahh!" "Close enough…"
ArmchairAnalyst 9
If you believe that garbage, I guess..
GeorgiaBea 28
Jesus forgives murderers... I'm pretty sure he can forgive you.
ThatLoneIyGuy 8
Brace yourselves the angry Christians are coming.
PrincessZelda_HR 22
Um... Why? It's an accurate statement
cole66 14
why would we be mad at this comment? it's true
miss_fluffybutt 17
Many umbrellas have a velcro strap to keep it closed when not in use for a period of time. Is yours defective?
Etweens96 25
Trust me, I went to church one time and mid prayer my phone went off, my text ring tone was "crazy train" by Ozzy Osbourne. Cannot tell you how many looks I got and even the priest started laughing
Khaleesi_D 9
That happened to my brother once, except the ringtone was Scotty doesn't know.
Etweens96 25
I'm glad it wasn't N.I.B by black sabbath. Imagine the looks I would've gotten then lol
momac86 17
My phone played out "she was a big star at banana joes bar" during communion once
ThrottleJockey 36
Better than "Highway to Hell".
pixierara 28
Did they think you were possessed afterwards