Today, on the way home, a guy yelled "Hey, YOU!" from behind me, so I walked faster. He ran up to me, shouting, "I said stop, asshole!" I almost pissed myself in fear, thinking I was being mugged. Turns out I'd left my wallet at the grocery store, and he was just trying to return it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I saw a woman drop her wallet in the grocery store. Being a good citizen, I sprinted after her to return it. She heard me running, panicked and took off. I ended up chasing her through three aisles saying, “Wait! I have your wallet!” Security got involved. FML
Today, I was leaving a campus parking garage. Suddenly, a huge man appeared behind me and kept saying "HEY!" "STOP!" In a gruff voice. I picked up my pace and so did he. I finally turned to him with a can of mace and threatened to use it. He was trying to return the $5 bill I dropped. FML
Today, I felt a tug on my backpack and found my wallet missing. A nice stranger pointed to a guy running down the stairs and said "There goes the guy who took your wallet!" I ran to catch the supposed offender. The 'nice' stranger was the actual offender distracting me as he got away. FML
Today, I was walking home when a man passed me and stopped. Thinking he was staring at my butt, I asked him kindly to stop. He then laughed and grabbed my wallet that was in my back pocket, and ran. He wasn't staring at my butt, and found it funny that I thought he was. FML
Today, a man tried to mug me. I actually apologized to him for not having my wallet on me. FML
Today, I went to the store, but after I'd selected my items, I saw that I'd forgotten my wallet. When I tried to explain to the cashier, he thought that I was trying to steal and called the cops. My roommate had to come to the store to save me. FML
Today, I realized I'd lost my wallet when paying for groceries. I had to put all the items back and leave the store feeling so embarrassed in front of everyone. FML
Today, I helped a "blind" man across the street. He kindly said thank you and patted me on the back. Then, I went into a store and realized my wallet was missing. FML
Today, I walked two miles to the store, filled my cart with groceries, and got to the cashier… only to find I had forgotten my wallet. I tried to explain but got the nastiest stank-eye from the cashier, the manager, and everyone in line behind me. I walked two miles home, hungry and embarrassed. FML
Today, after shopping alone at a grocery store, I was taking my groceries back to my car when a kid grabbed one of my bags and ran. Deciding not to risk leaving the rest of my groceries stranded, I didn't chase him. Later, I realized that was the bag my credit card was in. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Omfgitsmia 15
He could've just yelled that you dropped your wallet.
picante72 24
The mediocre Samaritan.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (142)
Isoldael 27
Was it at night in a quiet part of town? That seems unlikely, seeing that you just left a grocery store. If it was in broad daylight, it seems less rational to be that scared. Someone who mugs you during the day usually does so quietly, not to attract attention. I never really understood the "just ignore and keep walking" approach for muggers / rapists anyway. What does it accomplish?
SillyGirl4602 23
It's not very unlikely to leave a grocery store at night. I work late hours so I always go grocery shopping late at night. Also, if a mugger or rapist was following you, what would you do? I would absolutely try to run away.
xXHollowIchigoXx 17
Well, #36 & #96. I've been mugged 4 times in my life. And I'll tell you, if someone is going at you with the intent to mug you, it will happen. [My second time] If you try to run away, they'll chase you down and take it by force (from my experience). Also [This was my first time] they dont like it when you ignore them. you also shouldn't say something like "get out of my way" or "get a job". It'll make them angry. My third and fourth times, I actually answered him/them. And cooperated, and things ran smoothly. Sure, I lost over $60 on the last 2, but considering those times they were nice enough to give me back my debit card and not hit me (they mentioned they had knifes) I say the above post is right. The whole "ignore muggers, keep walking" doesn't work. Hint of advice, always walk with someone by your side. Even if you don't know them. Can save you from a possible fifth.
Isoldael 27
98 - my point exactly. If they are going to mug you, they will. It's not like ignoring them will make them go away. As for my "at night" statement, I guess I didn't realize grocery stores were open at night elsewhere. Stuff usually closes at 8 max around here.
poodle_juice 17
This reminds me of that episode of Spongebob where there they were trying to teach ManRay how to be nice and the guy thinks he's mugging him.
PenguinBitch 44
More like the episode where they're selling chocolates but at the same time they're running away from the fish screaming "CHOCOLATES!" He wants those darn chocolates.
SomeRandomGuy15 18
Huh? I don't remember him asking some random fish... Maybe my memory is being clogged by him trying to return Patrick's wallet?
starw0lf 31
In the Chocolates episode I love the part when Patrick drops the chocolate bars out of his pants and one chocolate kiss rolls out.
skyttlz 32
It kind of reminds me of the episode with Whatzit Tooya
joshiepo0 18
I tell my asshole to stop all the time. I would have figured he just had a bad case of the runs.
patotes95 5
I see what you did there! :D
SomeRandomGuy15 18
Well, while the guy was nice enough to return your wallet, it would have been easier on the both of you if he had just said "Hey, sir, you dropped your wallet!" Or something like that. But maybe I'm just insane.
iloveandy143 7
Basically the same thing I was trying to say , though I believe my addition of the word douche in my comment made everyone thumb me down and proceed to defend the guy calling OP an asshole... Ironic really
CharresBarkrey 16
Jeez, 48, you're taking these 'thumbs' way too personally.
maz95 17
If I was the guy I probably would've mistaken your paranoia for ignorance so you're lucky he wasn't so quick to judge.
noelasis94 18
No drugs were involved in your paranoid delusional thinking?
Shrike 24
Wow. If you think he's paranoid and delusional, you obviously know nothing about crime in Moscow.
SomeRandomGuy15 18
Is it really bad enough for one to start fearing for their lives just because someone called out to them?
Shrike 24
It's pretty bad in the capital, yeah. Though he didn't say he feared for his life, just that he thought he was being mugged, and that's a damn common thing there.
SomeRandomGuy15 18
Heh, yeah, I was kinda exaggerating on that point... Well, I can sorta understand OP's initial reaction, in that case... Can't be too careful in that situation.
KareBear7364 5
lol him calling you an asshole isn't the way to go about things. sorry op but at least u got your wallet back!
Mynameislinh 24
Oh, the irony.
Nik2B345 5
Hahahaha, I would have laughed if someone called me asshole since I never get called out. U definitely deserved that one OP for assuming
RedPillSucks 33
I got a lol at the user name. I can just image... *now lie back, sir, while I gently plunge this knife into your back. Oh wait, you forgot your wallet at the store. I'll return it to you as I gently flay the skin off your face*