Today, I took my daughter to the grocery store. The bag boy seemed to be flirting with me and smiling. He had to be half my age. Once in the car I glimpsed myself in the rear view mirror. I had chocolate completely covering one of my front teeth. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I ate a chocolate bar before getting my morning coffee. While waiting for it, a good looking guy started talking to me, then suddenly lost interest. Afterwards, I saw the chocolate on my face in my car mirror. FML
Today, I went to the grocery store. I saw a very cute guy in the aisle and smiled. He smiled back and blushed a little. He walked over and I flirted with him. He said, "I thought you should know the zipper on your jeans is down" and walked away. It was. FML
Today, this really cute guy at work kept flirting with me and cracking the funniest jokes. Before he left, he told me how much he enjoyed making me smile. An hour later, I saw my reflection in a mirror, I had a huge piece of food stuck in my teeth. FML
Today, I was grocery shopping, feeling good about myself, until when I was waiting in line at the checkout, a small kid in his mother's arms in front turned to look straight at me and said, "Ewwwww." FML
Today, I was at the mall with some friends. In the food court we passed by this creepy pervert feeling up a woman. I take a closer look and realize with horror that the guy is my dad in sunglasses and a hat. The lady he was with was not my mom. FML
Today, I was with my dad at the supermarket and this guy was checking me out. My dad yells at him with a grin, "I know! I make beautiful babies!" FML
Today, I, a forty year-old man, went to the store with my teenage daughter and infant son. I got some very dirty looks. FML
Today, I went to the store to buy some groceries. While I was at the store, an employee came up to me and said, "You're beautiful!" When I came home I told my husband what had just happened. My husband then asked, "What was wrong with him?" FML
Today, I was at the store with my father. As we were leaving, he grabbed a baguette, put it by his crotch, and took a picture with his phone. I'm starting to feel like the parent here. FML
Today, I locked eyes with a cute barista and tried to flirt by giving a charming smile. I forgot I had just taken a sip of hot chocolate, so I ended up drooling a long stream of chocolate down my chin. FML
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Top comments
darkmis1 18
Why did you mention that you had your daughter with you? What does that have to do with it?
MoldinRooster 0
Wouldn't You Taste It?
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Comments (48)
jkwanx88x 0
hillbilly lol
strawberrycancer 0
YDI for being a MILF- and for flirting back to a boy who is probably your daughters age.
Zemmiphobia 11
I got the impression OPs daughter is younger.
malcolmturner15 0
I disagree with #15 there I've lirted plenty of milfs in front of the kids some even looking my own age....
wriptidez 0
oh not a fml
x_missystaceey 0
buck tooth people are funny :)
darkmis1 18
Why did you mention that you had your daughter with you? What does that have to do with it?
barbiegirl491 1
Exactly what I was thinking..
Zemmiphobia 11
Emphasize her amazement that the bag boy was hitting on her most likely.
crisco5105 1
thanks for adding to the steriotypes of people from Louisiana. MOST of us do clean our teeth lol
Kovey 0
FML..........
skyeyez9 25
How do you not feel or taste chocolate that is completely covering your tooth?
ambermary101 6
yay I live in Louisiana too!