Today, my best friend texted me and told me she broke up with her boyfriend. Trying to be supportive, I sent a long message about how he never deserved her and that I was there for her if she needed someone to vent to. She replied, "Are you high?" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got a text from my ex-boyfriend telling me he still likes me and might love me too. Later I asked him if he really meant it and his response was "I don't know. I was high." FML
Today, I was texting my mother after my boyfriend broke off our relationship. She offered incredibly supportive replies such as "No, really?" and "Aww, that sucks." before apparently getting bored and claiming she had to go because her "text reception" was breaking up. FML
Today, I was stuck home with a cold when my boyfriend's best friend sent me a text saying, "You doing alright?" I replied, thinking he was talking about my health. He replied, "I'm surprised you're taking the breakup so well." What breakup? Mine. He was ten minutes too soon. FML
Today, I woke up to a text from my boyfriend that said, "Dude, I think she knows I'm going to break up with her." FML
Today, I texted my boyfriend, saying, "Hi." His response was, "I got your best friend pregnant." FML
Today, a friend of mine sent me a message saying, "Man, I am so sorry but we were both really drunk and I swear it didn't mean anything." FML
Today, I'm on vacation with my best friends. We went to a club and I drunk texted my girlfriend of one year about how nice everything is and how much I miss her. She responded by breaking up with me because she likes me more as a friend. FML
Today, I was upset after my boyfriend and I broke up. My best friend heard and told me she would be right over. Three hours of waiting later, she stumbles in wasted. She had been at the bar, with my ex, making sure he was okay. For me, I just got a list of all the drinks she had that night. FML
Today, my girlfriend left me for my best friend. Over a text message with "lol" in it. FML
Today, I was holding my drunken friend's hair while she threw up in the toilet at a party. She said, crying, "Y'don't have to do this..." I told her that that's what friends are for. She replied, "Yeah, but I did sleep with your boyfriend..." FML
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Top comments
rodrigun449 16
"Are you high?" "Well I ain't ******* low"
RichardPencil 32
That "not deserve you" gambit is a dead giveaway of stonedness.
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Comments (23)
forsook 12
I mean, yes, but that's beside the point.
xx000o 27
Well if you were at least it's legal.
KingOfPandas 13
Well OP did say that her friend was the one that broke up with her boyfriend. I don't know if her friend and her boyfriend both agreed to that or if it was one-sided. But to me it seems like the friend wasnt affected by the break up at all
RinoaHeartilly 36
Maybe she was upset that you were bashing the person she cared about? Not everyone immediately hates their ex.
indefiniteforest 17
Just to add some backstory to this, her boyfriend had cheated on her and she decided to stay and try to make it work with him, but after about a month it was obvious that they were delaying the inevitable and she broke it off. I was trying to be extra supportive of the decision because I knew it was really hard for her, but I guess it sounded like I was on drugs lol although I do tend to get really emotional when I'm high, so it was a fair assumption.
AirBusDriver 23
Well, Oregon did vote to legalize the green lol
TMO2142 25
Did you save that conversation?
MulticoloredSlug 18
OP you should elaborate...