Today, I got stung by jellyfish. As I was writhing in pain on the beach, my dad comes up and asks me to be quiet and that I'm embarrassing him. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got stung by jellyfish. As I writhed in pain on the beach, my dad comes up and asks me to be quiet, that I'm embarrassing him. He also mentioned that jellyfish were out today and that I should be careful. Thanks, dad. FML
Today, I was swimming in the ocean, not too far off shore. I had asked my mom to come in, but she was afraid of the water because fish had nipped at her toes or something back in the day. I told her there was nothing to fear. I ended up getting stung on the balls by a jellyfish. FML
Today, I thought I would make my first trip to the beach. While in the water, I was stung by a jellyfish. My friend had to pee on me. I went back into the water to wash the pee off and got stung by another jellyfish. FML
Today, at the beach, I swam pretty far out into the ocean. I ended up getting pummelled by the waves and got a painful cramp in my leg. The whole beach watched me flail and scream, while my friends rolled their eyes as they dragged me out of the water. FML
Today, I went to the beach. My friend decided it would be funny to push me into a bunch of Portuguese Man-O-War jellyfish washed up on the shore. Did you know their tentacles can sting even if they’re dead? FML
Today, I went to the beach on the cote d'azur and the lifeguard told me that even though there were two jellyfish in the bay, it was safe to swim. Five minutes into swimming, I got stung twice. FML
Today, I went to the zoo with a guy I like, when we were there we saw a swarm of bees. I told him that if I got stung he would have to watch me because my dad is deathly allergic to bees and I have never been stung. Jokingly, he nudged me into the bush and said "let's see". We did. I'm allergic. FML
Today, I was surfing and trying to impress some girls on the beach. While I was out in the water, a jellyfish wrapped itself around my torso. I started to yell and freak out, making a huge scene. I grabbed it off of me, only to realize that I was freaking out over a plastic grocery bag. FML
Today, I was at the beach with my parents, and I went for a swim in the sea. I got out and my parents started laughing their asses off. It wasn't until my dad pulled a condom out of my hair that I realized what they were laughing at. My dad even took a picture. FML
Today, my boyfriend was complaining of a scorpion sting on his leg. I told him to stop whining and get over it. Later, as I went to sleep, I felt a sharp pain in my arm. As I flipped on the light, I saw a scorpion crawling over the blankets. Now my entire arm is numb and I can't stop crying. FML
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Top comments
caplox 6
pee on it.
loserman67 36
Could have been worse. He could have whipped out his dick and started peeing on you in public.
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Comments (100)
cr3ativity 15
Damn. That stings. (prepares for thumbs down) Anyway, do what other ppl say, pee on it. But before that, check a few things. Like allergy symptons, aside from the point of impact (sting) And check To take off the stinging tentacles, Cause if you don't, you'll most likely be stung again, even after you pee on it.
marinus_fml 20
Peeing on it is what will make it sting again. DO NOT PEE ON IT. Wash it off with the sea water. Not fresh water either. And for the "just do what everyone is saying" could get you in worse situations. I hope if you're in a situation one day you think it through and don't just "do what everyone is saying"
cr3ativity 15
Well it only applied to this case, marinus :) Peeing on jellyfish stings is the general home remedy consensus, but looking at your comment, OP should have definitely just asked the lifeguard for some sting ointment.
marinus_fml 20
Sorry for the rant haha. Yes it's the general remedy because people have been misinformed about it! It does in fact make it worse (: I mean, how many kids would have read the first comment, and now think peeing on it works, and then thoughtlessly tell their mates at school and so on... That's how things become a misinformed remedy (:
cr3ativity 15
Really? I always figured that urine, well actually the ammonia, sorta canceled out the stinging. But aside from peeing, is safely removing the stinging tentacles is a accepted medical practice in the treatment of jelly fish stings?
peachesncreem 21
Vinegar is your friend in this situation. You should soak it for a few minutes if possible, before removing any tentacles. Luckily for us in Australia, where there's a beach, there's a fish and chip shop. Where there's a fish and chip shop, there's vinegar.
GothicAngel17 24
44- you forgot the random bottles of vinegar kept around beaches specifically for stinger victims.
ambamm135 7
44 vinegar is also no help either use sea water. That's what the doctor told me after I was hospitalized from a sting. I was allergic to the venom. I'm posting this as often as possible so no one else goes through what I did :(. NO TO VINEGAR AND URINE PEOPLE THEY DON'T WORK!
thatKidzmOm 10
Of course if you're ALLERGIC, it's not going to help. But for those of us who aren't allergic, vinegar might work...I mean, if people have used it before, and it's worked, the you are the exception here. Not everyone is allergic.
peachesncreem 21
58 - I've also been stung by a jellyfish. Several times, in fact. Vinegar has worked on all occassions. I'm obviously not allergic to the venom like you are. It's good that you're so concerned about warning everyone, but not EVERYONE is allergic so please don't spam us with your comment.
ambamm135 7
The doctor told me the severity of it was because we did not get the venom off properly. She told me venom does nothing but relieve pain for a second I still had the stingers in my back which is why I had a high level of venom in me.
pajamasam13 0
Sounds like my dad/:
MangaManiacNat 13
I think that's better than him wiping out his **** and peeing on you right? =P
HerrBawl 4
I think almost anything would be better then him "wiping" out his penis.
Pandacupcakelove 26
...Is your dad's name Homer Simpson?
KrayKrayGurl117 7
Some house cleaners help the sting. You should avoid (chlorine) pools they just make it hurt more.
cheerchick15 4
Sounds like what my mom said to me
nemo88 8
Forgot the word "a" in the sentence. Just saying.
quontag 15
Once I got stung and my grandfather rubbed butter on it. That didn't work, so he told me to pee on it.
KingCeltic77 18
Just ask the Crocodile Hunter. (God rest his soul).
gracehi 33
Steve Irwin was killed by a stingray, not a jellyfish, so not only is your comment not funny, it doesn't make any sense either.
the_true_batman 10
I was expecting him to poop on it (if pee helps poop must be even better).