Today, my wife of three years asked me to meet her for lunch at Subway. When I arrived, she was standing in the parking lot. She handed me a footlong sub, said "I got you a turkey sandwich" and followed it up with "And I'm leaving you." FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my girlfriend and I were buying Subway. When it came to ring up the order the lady asked us together or separate? My girlfriend looked and said separate. Half-jokingly, I asked if it was some sort of hint. She looked at me and said yes. I got broken up over a 12-inch ham sub. FML
Today, I went to Subway with my girlfriend. Just as the time came for her to pay, she went to the car to grab her purse. She didn't come back. I found a note on the windshield saying, "It's over." FML
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me at dinner, which would’ve been nice if we hadn’t been dating for only two months, and dinner was at Subway. FML
Today, my wife packed my lunch. Inside of my lunchbox was a photo of her eating my sandwiches. FML
Today, my wife suddenly texted me to meet her halfway between our house and the supermarket. I immediately put my shoes on and started walking, eager to get to her as fast as I could to surprise her. Turns out she was carrying three heavy bags and yelled at me for being slow and by foot. FML
Today, I got flustered by the gorgeous sandwich artist at Subway and ordered a “meat-long foot-ball.” On Rye of course. FML
Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend of 3 years. I got reservations for a romantic dinner, and at the end, fireworks would spell out my proposal. The whole thing had taken weeks to plan out and had cost me a lot of money. She proposed to me at a subway station first. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out for lunch, and I asked her if I could have a bite of her meal. She took it to mean I was calling her fat, and stormed out. FML
Today, a guy asked me out and said he was going to take me to a fancy restaurant where they make the food in front of you. I love Japanese food, so I was really excited. We went to Subway. FML
Today, whilst working at Subway, I took an order for 6 footlongs. The entire process took 15 minutes due to the customer's hesitant and glacial pace. When it came to paying, he pulled out his wallet, looked inside, looked at me, and walked quickly out of the store. FML
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Top comments
theluckygirl28 8
OUCHH!!! But hey, at least you got a footlong.... or maybe you don't and that's why she's leaving you? Think about it... All kidding set aside, FYL
AngelRaven89 0
Could have been worse. She could have ended things without giving you a turkey sandwich. And then where would you be!
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Comments (206)
redbluegreen 41
Do you hate turkey?
Emwo 0
You got a sandwich, and maybe a drink... or chips. >> sucks to hear
liuken 3
LOL @ 115
DCMurphy 0
@OP Oh that's rough dude. But hear me out. Don't let her get away with the last laugh. She wants to leave you impromptu and has to trick you into doing it? She doesn't have the guts to break it off normally. You can still save something for yourself. Keep her trapped in the marriage for a month or so, if you have the means to pull that off through couples counseling, a really good method of bullshitting or a legitimate way of keeping her around then go for it. Then: 1a. Wait until she cheats (or even facilitate the act) 1b. obtain evidence (should be done simultaneously with 1a, or catch her on tape admitting to it, video evidence will be more convincing. I suggest a small video camera that retails for about $80). 2. File for divorce with HER. 3. Keep most of (or hopefully all of) your shit.
gOdHAtEsyOu 0
that is one nice method #121
zmoothg 0
Wow that sucks
evilralphwiggum 0
she found a bigger sub? was this a message in code? XD
HAHAITSMESCOTT 0
maybe she was unhappy cuz you werent a foot long
nodbor 11
man, you got Jared(ed) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jared_Fogle
xkonstantine125x 7
This made me fall off my chair.. it's funny but ****** up. This is when it's okay to smack a bitch with a foot long ;)
Tsukasa_fml 0
I want a sub now. D: