Today, in an effort to be more healthy, I bought a pack of protein bars as a substitute for snacks. I ate all 5 of them in one sitting. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had 16 freakin' protein bars as a meal, the only meal of the day, as well as 5 apples after. I'm feeling like Yellowstone erupting in my guts right now. It hurts as fuck. FML
Today, I ate two Fiber One bars for breakfast and now I can’t stop farting. FML
Today, I stopped at a mini-mart and bought a family-size bag of potato chips, a tub of dip, a box of toaster pastries, and some snack cakes. The guy at the counter said, "Wow, someone's hungry!" I told him it wasn't all for me, paid, and left in a huff. It was all for me. I ate it all by that evening. FML
Today, I was running late for work and skipped breakfast. At a red light, I noticed a granola bar in my bag and so I took a bite, only to realize it was actually a dog treat I'd stuffed in there days ago. FML
Today, I went to the grocery store, and I realized that all I bought was cat food and $30 worth of protein bars. Yes, I have become THAT single woman. FML
Today, I found out the "free" protein bars at my gym are actually for a fundraiser for children's cancer. I've been taking one every day for the past two weeks. FML
Today, I decided to quit smoking. During my lunch break, I tried to ash the KitKat bar that was in my hand after I took a bite. FML
Today, after I completely starved myself for a week and exercised every day in an attempt to lose weight, I instead gained 5 pounds. FML
Today, I went to the drive-through and ordered 5 cheeseburgers. I told the cashier that some of them were for my girlfriend. I don't have a girlfriend, and I ate all of them by myself. FML
Today, I started my new health kick with granola for breakfast, salad for lunch, and hitting the gym after work. I was so proud of myself, until I couldn’t take it anymore and binged at McDonald’s. My health kick lasted 11 hours. FML
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Top comments
Tripartita 45
Normally, FMLs require a little humor or a twist; yours just sounds depressing.
decado 6
They usually have a fair amount of fibre in as well so be prepared for a reaction from your butt end at some point in the near future.
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Comments (21)
Oogly979 8
Ah OP some people deserve to be fat! Anyway which bars were these? I find most protein bars really difficult to get through and that's just the one!
marlinwalkup1347 13
I normally don't comment but op, it's seriously dangerous to eat that much protein in one sitting. Your body isn't meant to digest that much. Please don't do that again
LyricaSilvan 30
Well, at least now you know they actually taste good. Or so I would assume, based on context. Now to work on self-control, because apparently that's the deeper root of the problem. It's hard, but if you want it bad enough, you can do it!
Tillie Jenkins 5
Here's a few tips: smaller but more frequent, high protein meals. Have breakfast (eggs, bacon/sausage), snack (unsalted nuts, vegetables), lunch (chicken/pork/lamb/turkey) and a vegetable, snack (protein bar, nuts), and dinner: again, mostly meat,
neuronerd 29
Only if you're drastically cutting carbs too (definitely less than 50g/day, preferably less than 20g). That diet with carbs is a recipe for weight gain.
izzibelle 8
How can you even do that?? You have to drink 2 full glasses of water, at least, after each one, because otherwise you get stomach pains. Not to mention they fill you up, together with that water, for at least 3/4 of a meal if not a full one. How could you possibly eat 5 and not vomit them up or feel sick or have any sort of side effects?
Jatok 17
Ugh, protein bars taste like garbage. You got taste buds of steel OP.
Jdgreen429 13
they aren't really a healthy option to begin with so yeah probably not good!
mrBearBear 11
Honestly though even if you only have one, protein bars aren't as healthy as people think. Yeah you get more protein but they usually have a lot of carbs. I mean it's good to get extra carbs in if you're working out but not so much if you're just snacking. Also many store bought bars have a ton of added sugar (which also adds carbs).