Today, my family and I went to a beach where you could swim with dolphins. I was a little scared to swim with them so the trainers had a five minute chat to me about how they were harmless creatures. Once I got in, the dolphin attacked me and bit me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I did something I'd always wanted to do: I went swimming with dolphins. It was really fun, until I went to kiss the dolphin, and she slipped her tongue half into my mouth. FML
Today, I was swimming in the ocean, not too far off shore. I had asked my mom to come in, but she was afraid of the water because fish had nipped at her toes or something back in the day. I told her there was nothing to fear. I ended up getting stung on the balls by a jellyfish. FML
Today, I overcame my fear of swimming in lakes and went for a swim. I got bitten by an eel. FML
Today, against my wishes, my family and I went swimming with sharks. While in the shark cage, a shark got within a few feet of us. My cowardly bowels objected and caused me to shit myself. FML
Today, I got bitch-slapped by a walrus at Sea Life Park. FML
Today, I nearly drowned. I was at a wave pool for the first time and stupidly swam out to the deep end. When the waves turned on, I discovered I can't swim in rough water. Despite my yelling, "Help!" and flailing around, the lifeguard paid me no attention. My friend had to save me. FML
Today, I went to the beach on the cote d'azur and the lifeguard told me that even though there were two jellyfish in the bay, it was safe to swim. Five minutes into swimming, I got stung twice. FML
Today, at the beach, I swam pretty far out into the ocean. I ended up getting pummelled by the waves and got a painful cramp in my leg. The whole beach watched me flail and scream, while my friends rolled their eyes as they dragged me out of the water. FML
Today, while I was at the beach I decided to go into the ocean even though the waves looked rough. While I was in the water, I got caught by the riptide and needed to be saved. The reason I was at the beach? I'm a lifeguard. Now all my co-workers won't stop laughing at me. FML
Today, I went with my family to visit my aunt, who lives on a farm. My brother told me that cows are ticklish and convinced me to go up and tickle one of the cows. The cow clearly wasn’t a fan, and I ended up being chased right into a lake. FML
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Top comments
Mico3587 0
lol dolphins
Spinach 0
Nice. Dolphins enjoy a good joke like the rest of us.
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Comments (133)
arienh4 0
*moves towards instructor* You were saying?
yeahreally 6
#41 FTW and lmfao!
Ohnoitslindsay 0
#34 is correct. And Lawl dolphin rape let's believe everything we see on Utoob! The dolphin is more intelligent than a lot of these commenters.
dwights 0
number 3 ftw
survivalism 0
Wow, I can't believe a wild animal got upset that you invaded its space. Certainly, that has never happened before ever in history.
Dreika 0
See, another reason why dolphins should be canned with the tunas!
fox_girl24 0
AHH! thats so scary! Thats like... my biggest fear in the world!
shananigans 0
#38 is my hero. #47- Really? Your biggest fear in the world is that you're going to be attacked by a dolphin? Interesting.
vee_baby 0
Hahahaha, does this story remind anyone else of Kevin Hart's stand-up comedy?
ndvorsky 4
Reminds me of "king of the hill" except that hank got raped not bit and then he used the dolphin to rape the trainer it was funny
eitak 0
19 LMFAO OMG. hahah nah Steve Irwin was a great guy.. Erwin?