Today, my family and I went to a beach where you could swim with dolphins. I was a little scared to swim with them so the trainers had a five minute chat to me about how they were harmless creatures. Once I got in, the dolphin attacked me and bit me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I did something I'd always wanted to do: I went swimming with dolphins. It was really fun, until I went to kiss the dolphin, and she slipped her tongue half into my mouth. FML
Today, I was swimming in the ocean, not too far off shore. I had asked my mom to come in, but she was afraid of the water because fish had nipped at her toes or something back in the day. I told her there was nothing to fear. I ended up getting stung on the balls by a jellyfish. FML
Today, I overcame my fear of swimming in lakes and went for a swim. I got bitten by an eel. FML
Today, against my wishes, my family and I went swimming with sharks. While in the shark cage, a shark got within a few feet of us. My cowardly bowels objected and caused me to shit myself. FML
Today, I got bitch-slapped by a walrus at Sea Life Park. FML
Today, I nearly drowned. I was at a wave pool for the first time and stupidly swam out to the deep end. When the waves turned on, I discovered I can't swim in rough water. Despite my yelling, "Help!" and flailing around, the lifeguard paid me no attention. My friend had to save me. FML
Today, I went to the beach on the cote d'azur and the lifeguard told me that even though there were two jellyfish in the bay, it was safe to swim. Five minutes into swimming, I got stung twice. FML
Today, at the beach, I swam pretty far out into the ocean. I ended up getting pummelled by the waves and got a painful cramp in my leg. The whole beach watched me flail and scream, while my friends rolled their eyes as they dragged me out of the water. FML
Today, while I was at the beach I decided to go into the ocean even though the waves looked rough. While I was in the water, I got caught by the riptide and needed to be saved. The reason I was at the beach? I'm a lifeguard. Now all my co-workers won't stop laughing at me. FML
Today, I went with my family to visit my aunt, who lives on a farm. My brother told me that cows are ticklish and convinced me to go up and tickle one of the cows. The cow clearly wasn’t a fan, and I ended up being chased right into a lake. FML
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Top comments
Mico3587 0
lol dolphins
Spinach 0
Nice. Dolphins enjoy a good joke like the rest of us.
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Comments (133)
Jaywin 3
#6 is right. Dolphins attack and kill things basically for ***** n' giggles. They're also one of the only animals besides humans to have sex for pleasure. Basically, dolphins have minds similar to humans and as a result, can be real ******* assholes.
irokyoursox 6
also they have to take every breath consciously. so when they're in captivity they become depressed and stressed from all the noise an commit suicide by holding their breath.
omglolydi 0
They smell fear.
Big_Blue_Sumthin 0
I guess it wasn't Flipper.
x_eyebrows 0
Aww, it only bit you because it could tell you were afraid, and an afraid animal (yourself) is likely to attack. Or it could have been for ***** 'n' giggles. :) Either way that's pretty damn hilarious!!
kwbuzz23wk 0
who on earth is afraid of dolphins?
sawfanatic 0
Yeah #15, couldn't agree with you more. Dolphins are harmless, if you don't fear them. :P
zbots 0
#12 - lol that's what I was going to say. OP - stop being a pussy. YDI.
Ohnoitslindsay 0
They are the second most intelligent creatures on Earth.
Venezia_fml 0
The first most certainly not being humans.
im4evaonyomind 0
Of all the things in the ocean, it's the dolphins you're afraid of? It's the sting rays you gotta look out for, ha ha ha..........it's not too soon is it?
ohhhhshizzz 0
#5: you are a little late on the first train aren't you? I love dolphins they are so cute. And yeah they do smell fear. Most animals & people can tell when someone is afraid. Sucks to be you.