Today, I tried to befriend the lonely boy who sits at the end of my table at lunch. He always sleeps or does homework during lunch. I walked over to him, tripped, and spilled my open bottle of water on his jeans. I apologized profusely and wiped off his pants with napkins. He got hard. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was in a rush to get my lunch for work. I quickly opened my fridge to grab it, and accidentally knocked over a beer, spilling a little on my pants. I told myself I'd spray them in the car. I forgot, and when I got into work, someone sat down and commented that they smelled beer. The person was a student. FML
Today, I was at a fancy restaurant. I was drinking some water when I noticed a hot guy eating alone at another table waving at me. I smiled back, but had forgotten to swallow the water so it dribbled out of my mouth all over my shirt. FML
Today, as I was walking to wash my hands after using the restroom, the guy walking away from the sink flicked water from his hands towards the floor. Water splashed all over my beige shorts. I had to walk back into class looking like I'd peed my pants. FML
Today, I went to a restaurant with my boyfriend. Within seconds of getting my drink, I spilled it all over the table and my scarf. When the waiter was helping clean up the spill, he knocked over my boyfriend's drink. All over my pants. FML
Today, trying to be nice, I sat with the lonely kid at lunch. While eating, he started laughing and showed me his hit list. I was at the top. FML
Today, I was in class with a water bottle on my desk. I was on my phone not paying attention, when some girl knocked it over by accident. I went to grab it, even though it was in the corner of my eye. I caught the bottle of water but I also happened to grab her ass at the same time. FML
Today, I accidentally spilled water on my pants, and my crotch got soaked. To make things worse, I was in class at the time, and I had to walk home afterward. On top of that, I had to pass through a mall, and there were so many people staring at me the whole way. FML
Today, I was in music class and I was reaching for the pen I'd dropped, I tilted myself, gripping my left hand on the table, and the person beside me pulled my arm for some reason, and my face fell into their lap. Right on the crotch. It reeked of sweat. FML
Today, I tried to put my friend's hand in lukewarm water while he was sleeping, to see if he'd pee himself. He woke up and punched me in the face. FML
Today, the cute boy in my biology class I had been crushing on invited me over to study for a huge test. Once I got to his house, I really had to use the bathroom. I ended ending up taking a huge dump and clogging up his toilet. He had to come plunge it for me. FML
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Top comments
Sipos 0
That's a lovely thing to do but... Poor guy. I bet he's really embarrassed. I don't think it's anything personal, having a good looking girl rub your crotch makes most guys hard. You should definitely talk to him again and apologize.
Raceta 5
Today, I was sitting at the end of the table quietly doing my homework, when some random chick comes up and spills water all over my pants. Not only does she do that, but she then proceeds to rub the water off of my crotch... what can I do but watch the look of horror come over her face as she feels me grow hard. FML
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Comments (90)
Shadow_Sniper 0
#30=genius
AnnaSeptic 0
Okaay? No duh he got hard, you were rubbing his crotch. Poor guy must have been so embarassed. He's not a creeper just cause of that.
prichardson 0
[edit] meant to comment on something else]
kennington 0
lol, now i see why he is a loner, the question, did you like it?
lich_fml 0
ahaha@#11. I second that. But it's totally normal. Hell, I know guys who get hardwhen you touch them. period.
pikL3bOi 0
#2
SusanaSaysRawrxD 0
I don't care about how everyone loves to use the word 'proceeded', but at least spell it right! 'Preceded' refers to something in the past tense, or something before/behind another. Like the letter A precedes the letter B in the alphabet. D:<
keenox_fml 0
you should be happy
tangerine_12 0
are you a guy or a girl? cuz it would be funnier if it was a guy. ahaha.
AtoZandBeyond 0
Yeah... that's kinda what happens when you rub guys there