Today, I was flipping through a magazine and saw an ad that had the line "No corn, no wheat, no soy", all of which I'm severely allergic to. I got so excited at the prospect of having a food I could eat, I fell out of my chair. I then realized it was an ad for dog food. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was so hungry that my mouth started watering during a dog food commercial. FML
Today, I saw a commercial for some sort of meaty beef dish. The camera zoomed in and my mouth watered because it looked so delicious. Then flashed the next scene: Golden Retrievers running through a field, then eating from their bowl. My mouth just watered for a dog food commercial. FML
Today, I grabbed a box of my favorite granola bars, the only flavor the brand makes without nuts, which I'm severely allergic to. A visit to the ER after my throat closed up told me that I'd missed the notice on the shelf, warning that they're now making them with peanuts. FML
Today, I found out my dog is allergic to all forms of animal. His new vegetarian food is $90 a bag, and he refuses to eat it. FML
Today, I had a food allergy test done because of an ugly acne upswing, and after over a year of vegetarianism, I find out that I'm allergic to soy. FML
Today, I found out I have celiac disease. I also happen to be a baker and will be constantly reminded of all the wheat products I can no longer enjoy. FML
Today, after years of my very poor diet finally resulted in a long overdue health scare, I declared I must try to live healthier. Also today, I was reminded of my hypersensitive gag reflex (I'm autistic), which causes my body to vehemently protest the consumption of a variety of healthy foods. This sucks. FML
Today, I got back the results of an allergy test I decided to get because I felt generally tired after meals. Turns out that I'm allergic to, among other things, meat (yep, is a thing), nuts (of course), milk, egg, rice, carrot, apple, yeast (as in bread), and even soy. Seems I'm allergic to… food. FML
Today, I've been on the verge of throwing up all day. Why? My dog is intolerant to grain, but grain-free dog food causes heart problems so she can't have that. Now our lives are filled with nasty farts and Hershey squirts with no end in sight. It's a rough time for us both. FML
Today, we live in a tiny trailer. My doctor said I have celiac disease. My dad, who takes things too literally, came back with gluten-free dog food. I don’t even have a dog. FML
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Top comments
Livinia 11
Well, if you ever get desperately hungry ...
Wheredidgrungego 12
Just because it's for dogs doesn't mean it's inevitable.... Look at Shaggy and Scooby Snacks!
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Comments (105)
5t3ff1k4h 45
73 - Just stop before you embarrass yourself again. You lost an argument for many reasons. It's time to move on.
eriinbaby 0
oh man, I'm celiac aswell it sucks but more places are coming out with gluten free stuff :D
kira336 0
@ #81...wheat is in pasta....
5t3ff1k4h 45
Indeed it is. Thanks for pointing it out - he's just trying to be a stuck up asshole. He knew damn well what I meant.
MerrikBarbarian 9
except it isn't just looking for those ingredients. you need to look for gluten, xanthan gum, cellulose... and a hundred other obscure names corn and wheat especially are listed under
TrollinAllDay 0
Now you can eat something that goes with your looks and that your non-allergic to!
RetardedBullFrog 4
85, tl,dr stfu (save the flying unicorns)
DUCkY408 0
wouldn't hurt to try....
HeartAndSoul2011 0
aww :(
HeartAndSoul2011 0
no it's not u jerk
Dr_Jalepenos 0
a teenager with no life