Today, I was flipping through a magazine and saw an ad that had the line "No corn, no wheat, no soy", all of which I'm severely allergic to. I got so excited at the prospect of having a food I could eat, I fell out of my chair. I then realized it was an ad for dog food. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was so hungry that my mouth started watering during a dog food commercial. FML
Today, I saw a commercial for some sort of meaty beef dish. The camera zoomed in and my mouth watered because it looked so delicious. Then flashed the next scene: Golden Retrievers running through a field, then eating from their bowl. My mouth just watered for a dog food commercial. FML
Today, I grabbed a box of my favorite granola bars, the only flavor the brand makes without nuts, which I'm severely allergic to. A visit to the ER after my throat closed up told me that I'd missed the notice on the shelf, warning that they're now making them with peanuts. FML
Today, I found out my dog is allergic to all forms of animal. His new vegetarian food is $90 a bag, and he refuses to eat it. FML
Today, I had a food allergy test done because of an ugly acne upswing, and after over a year of vegetarianism, I find out that I'm allergic to soy. FML
Today, I found out I have celiac disease. I also happen to be a baker and will be constantly reminded of all the wheat products I can no longer enjoy. FML
Today, after years of my very poor diet finally resulted in a long overdue health scare, I declared I must try to live healthier. Also today, I was reminded of my hypersensitive gag reflex (I'm autistic), which causes my body to vehemently protest the consumption of a variety of healthy foods. This sucks. FML
Today, I got back the results of an allergy test I decided to get because I felt generally tired after meals. Turns out that I'm allergic to, among other things, meat (yep, is a thing), nuts (of course), milk, egg, rice, carrot, apple, yeast (as in bread), and even soy. Seems I'm allergic to… food. FML
Today, I've been on the verge of throwing up all day. Why? My dog is intolerant to grain, but grain-free dog food causes heart problems so she can't have that. Now our lives are filled with nasty farts and Hershey squirts with no end in sight. It's a rough time for us both. FML
Today, we live in a tiny trailer. My doctor said I have celiac disease. My dad, who takes things too literally, came back with gluten-free dog food. I don’t even have a dog. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Livinia 11
Well, if you ever get desperately hungry ...
Wheredidgrungego 12
Just because it's for dogs doesn't mean it's inevitable.... Look at Shaggy and Scooby Snacks!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (105)
squishy01 0
I used to eat dog food. it wasn't too bad, or at least my 3 year old mind didn't think so.
sourgirl101 29
Sounds like the OP will have to learn to cook things from scratch if she's highly allergic to that many things. *also the OP's name looks familiar. I think I've seen her comments posted before.(:
a_nutritionist 10
agree, theres plenty of food out there they can eat. this also helps spur on a diet of fresh unrefined food. no doubt it would suck not having a choice, but to say something as ridiculous as i got so excited about the prospect of having a food i could eat...what, youre living on protein shakes and grass?
whiterabbit420 4
32 and 35, OP is probably younger, does not cook from scratch and is currently going through the "holy crap there is wheat/soy/corn in everything I can't eat anything!!" phase. she will learn there's a ton of things she can eat soon enough, and that her life is not in fact f'ed
CCrunner2 0
lol sorry op fyl
kodemonki 4
Lara bars are amazing. Also try the Specific Carbohydrate Diet. I have UC and am on that now. Good luck!
MaxKole 1
Me too! (I have Crohns) And I agree, Lara Bars are amazing. My favorite is peanut butter cookie bar.
sophiagotswag 0
It wouldn't hurt much to try.
soulfulemo 0
..you dont like getting down with the dogs hm? if it was cat food would you eat it, then
crowbar_2010 2
eat a steak. no corn, wheat, or soy there..along with A LOT of other non-pet foods. if you get excited enough to fall out of your chair before you even finish reading, I bet your sex life is, uh, rapid. oh, and..YDI.
5t3ff1k4h 45
They deserve an allergy they can do nothing about? Asshole.
justanothagirl 0
I have celiac. it's difficult to find food. especially if you have those allergies as well. don't be haten people
btown1616 0
27- epic win! haha
dayrin7 4
lmfaoo made my morning :)!
shah008 0
hi