Today, I woke up to find that I'd left my clothes in my roommate's bedroom. After returning from a night of heavy drinking, I apparently got up to use the bathroom and used her room as a toilet. I don't remember this, but pee stains don't lie. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up to a strange wetness covering my body. My drunk roommate's urine. FML
Today, I woke up at a guy's house drunk and soaked in my own pee. I had passed out with all my clothes on. Since I was late for work and didn't have a change of clothes, all I could do was throw my jeans in the dryer. I had to sit all day at work in crusty pee pants. FML
Today, I woke up to find myself drenched in piss after a long night of drinking. I immediately sprang into action, tossing my bedding in the washer and hopping into the shower. Running late for work, I threw on a nice dress and got into my car. Guess who also peed in the drivers seat? FML
Today, I am now sleeping on the floor because my friend got super drunk at a small party then peed herself in her sleep. I was sleeping beside her and my clothes smell like pee. FML
Today, I arrived in my dorm at 3 am to find my roommate passed out and a nauseating stench. While I was gone, he got drunk and puked all over the walls, carpet, and both beds. His inebriated attempt to clean up the mess consisted of smearing his vomit everywhere with my shower robe. FML
Today, my roommate came home after a night of heavy drinking and started urinating on my bed. When I confronted him, he just slurred, "Sorry, thought it was my bed." FML
Today, I woke up after a night out partying only to find I'd wet the bed. I was so ashamed that I rolled my girlfriend into it to avoid taking the blame. FML
Today, I woke up to my drunk mom trying to pee in the dresser drawer of our hotel, with my clothes in it. I woke up right in time to yell at her. Pants down and all. She started denying there were even clothes in there. FML
Today, my roommate and I noticed a foul smell in our apartment. After looking around for a little while, I found that her cat had pooped on a pair of my jeans, and apparently tried to cover it up by dragging a shirt over the mess. FML
Today, I was so drunk that I pissed myself in a hotel hallway while wearing a dress. My shoes squished all the way back to the room. FML
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Top comments
DahkLohd 4
No, no they don't.
Selena_is_back 7
That reminds me, I forgot to pee at the fire hydrant.
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Comments (60)
amypr 20
I'll never understand why, for some people, alcohol = forgetting that toilets exist.
sweet_candy_ 17
I never knew they told the truth.
zp5 4
It's true. Pee stains don't lie to you. They always tell the truth.
BWill9014 4
So stupid
Ismellwin 0
Words to live by.
lucas755 1
Am I the only one who's reminded of an FML from a few weeks ago that was identical, but from the roommate's point of view?
zp5 4
Yes. Yes you are.
KingOfTheBrocean 2
Total Frat move
maria12_fml 0
This isn't a fml....it's more of a oh poop I have to clean up my own piss now...
bellatrix4 0
THE DARK LORD SHALL BE AVENGED!
vergaso 0
how about u shut up and stop taking up space