Today, I thought I'd take my little sister to the park. After getting bored of playing on the climbers, she thought it would be funny to throw some mud at me; too bad mud wasn’t the only chunky brown stuff on the ground. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend and I were at the river. She threw mud on me, so I playfully threw some on her, and we got into a mud fight. Apparently, she took the "fight" seriously, because I'm now single. FML
Today, my three year old sister asked me to go to the amusement park with her. Since I was late for work, I politely refused and said we'd go tomorrow. She punched me in the nuts so hard that I could barely walk. FML
Today, my sister and I had a fight. In her rage, she threw piles of dirty laundry at me. One of her bloody panties hit me on the face. FML
Today, my little sister took a dump in our bath tub right before we were leaving for soccer practice. When my mom found it, she blamed it on me, then made me pick it up with my bare hands. FML
Today, I came home to find my little sister had decided to play hopscotch under our carport. Feeling a small childish urge, I decided to hop on one leg to the front door. I tripped and fell, slicing my knee open. FML
Today, I was at the water slide with my two sisters. As we got to the top, my sister wanted me to go first. As soon as I went to go down the slide, she lamped me right in the balls from behind, and pushed me down the slide. My other sister kneed me in the same spot 5 minutes later. FML
Today, I took my sister and her friend to the new swimming pool in our area. They wanted to go down one of the slides, so I went up with them. At the top of the stairs, my sister's friend kicked me in the balls and then pulled my trunks off. They pushed me down the slide naked. FML
Today, I thought it would be fun to climb a tree. My older sister also thought it would be fun to set the tree on fire. FML
Today, my little sister was playing with her building blocks. All of a sudden, she began to cry and held her finger out to me. Assuming she had hurt it, I kissed it better, and tasted something odd on my lips. Turns out she wasn't hurt, she was crying because she had touched cat vomit. FML
Today, I took my dog for a walk in the park. I was enjoying the fresh air until my dog spotted a squirrel and took off running. I ended up getting dragged through the mud and had to walk home covered in dirt and scratches. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
That's pretty crappy -- your sister's a real little shit. So, what was the brown chunky stuff?
InnocentLies 0
That stinks.
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Comments (73)
kykyshay 0
ew! poo.
InnocentLies 0
Why is your ear purple?
nbk1405 0
rodl
folgy 10
she got jizzed on by a leprecaun ?
BWill9014 4
38 LOL
Asstazztic 8
u literally got shit faced haha
bigmarkie2 3
lmao that's the first thing I thought of too
happydaphee 4
oh god. reminds me of something my cousins would do just to be little brats.
Madrias 36
Damn, all the good 'shit' puns are used up. Sucks to be you, OP.
truehitman2010 0
who took a dook in the park?
denvan 0
unidentified flying brown chunks
mk58 31
This made me lol. ^
xx000o 27
you have lots of time to plan and react
you_and_me_fml 8
at least she didnt shove it in your mouth or something to involve you tasting it
roberto7798 0
got a point there. xD
steviiJ 2
let me get ur number cutie
mk58 31
What is it with kids these days and brown stuff?!?
rhpsfan9 10
lmao that's gross