Today, I went to dinner with my boyfriend. After we'd ordered, I started to unzip his fly really slowly. As I put my hand into his boxers, he stood up to greet his mom and dad who were joining us for dinner. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I were at dinner with his parents when he discreetly slid his hand up my skirt and tickled me. This caused me to kick his dad's recently broken leg. FML
Today, I was invited to my boyfriend's house for dinner for the first time. His mom made a fantastic dinner, so I showed my appreciation by eating the lot. Apparently I was overdoing it because when I looked up everyone was staring. His dad muttered, "Slow the hell down." FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's father for the first time. We were at a restaurant and my bofriend kept playing footsie with me under the table. When my boyfriend excused himself to go to the restroom, the game of footsie was still going on. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house. We were starting to get intimate, and I thought it would be kinky to tie his hands to his bed so he'd be more turned on. Suddenly his mom called us for dinner, but I couldn't untie him fast enough. I had to sit there, embarrassed, while his mom undid the rope. FML
Today, I brought my boyfriend of a year and a half to meet my parents. Turns out he dated my mom. This should be a fun dinner. FML
Today, my boyfriend was taking me to dinner to meet his parents. As we pulled into the restaurant valet, I saw a woman in a slutty dress and hooker heels get out of the car ahead of us. I jokingly asked if we had accidentally pulled into a strip club, pointing at the woman. It was his mother. FML
Today, I met my new boyfriend’s family for the first time. Unfortunately for me, his dad walked in to ask what we wanted for dinner while we were having sex. Even worse was that my boyfriend kept going while his dad was there, and his dad later said he was glad I was “the woman”. FML
Today, my boyfriend came before I'd even unbuttoned my pants. FML
Today, I had sex with this guy who I like very much. As he went to leave, I decided to give him one last thrill. I reached down his pants and started to rub and stroke him. He abruptly pulled my hand out. When I asked why, he pointed behind me. My mom had watched the whole thing. FML
Today, after having sexual intercourse with my boyfriend, we went downstairs to find his parents had come home early and had heard everything. I then received a long scolding from his mother of how I'd disrespected her house. My boyfriend received a high-five and a thumbs-up from his dad. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
checkyesbecca 0
And you would be doing this at a public restaurant? You deserved it, don't be so stupid next time.
e86 0
I hope you intended on washing your hands before eating.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (311)
imnotlanderman 0
I say this is an FML on the girl's part simply because why in the Hell did the boyfriend stand up if he knew what you were doing? I find it hard to believe he couldn't feel what was going on. Probably also should have mentioned other people were coming if he hadn't.
itsamemario 0
THANK YOU #168 God, after skimming through most of the comments, I've realized how prudent 95% of these posters are. It makes me think the majority of FML viewers are part of the baby-boomers? Get real guys. This type of "activity" is far from being "slutty" and is rather just showing how open the two are with one another. Maybe if you find yourself in a serious relationship one day you will understand :)
Besker 0
for everyone defending this retard and this tramp. get your heads out of your asses and realize that they're not the only one's in the resturant. Ok? following me on this? Other people want to enjoy their dinners too and *GASP* can enjoy it without acting like nymphos. still with me? and I think it's pretty obvious that the ***** in question does all her thinking between her legs between bleedings. but I digress, what if there are children at a nearby table? don't get me wrong, if she wants to turn him on, go ahead, but not a full on handjob there, wait for later. in private.
nuga 0
@168 & 175: While I don't think the girl is 'slutty' for wanting to engage in sexual activity with her boyfriend, I do think it's disgusting and really inconsiderate to the other people eating there to do that in a public place like a restaurant. What if there had been a family there with children? Wouldn't you be grossed out to be eating in a restaurant and then notice some chick there with her hand down her boyfriend's pants?
lnm701 0
I am no prude, and I don't think that its fair to call this girl a ****, but her actions were a little over the top. Being sexual and open is great, fooling around in public places can be fun, but certain activities are best suited for places where you at least have some amount of privacy (a bathroom stall, a dressing room, etc). A little rubbing through the pants - no big deal. Actually reaching in his boxers at the restaurant table? Kinda gross for the other diners. Also, 175, prudent doesn't mean quite what you seem to believe it does.
Laurkins 0
#176, well said. There is nothing wrong with getting kinky (and unzipping your boyfriend's fly of course), but there is a right time and place for things. Doing it in a restaurant isn't just one of those "right" places.
JohnFR33M4N 0
hurmmmmmmmm......one BJ on the dad will wipe the memory from his mind....70% of the time
t_annie 0
"I'm into all the sexual openness and stuff, but I still think the OP is nasty. I play with my boyfriend in public all the time but I don't whip out his junk. Turn him on in public so that it builds up and break out the kinkiness once you guys get home. There's a time and place and a proper way to do it." Agreed. And I really don't get how this worked out. You didn't hear your bf tell the hostess it was a table for 4? Or on the off chance there wasn't a hostess, you didn't notice you were at a table that sat more than 2 people? And your boyfriend's pants were unzipped, your hand in his boxers...and he still stood up to greet his parents? No. Just no.
firedragon64 0
8 and 19, agreed. And 180, you are right, seriously I think it was a FML on both of their parts.
hatelife01 0
You **** hungry bitch couldnt you wait till after dinner?
whateverbutt 0
Um, I dont understand why you would do that in the middle of a restaurant...very classy.