Today, I went to dinner with my boyfriend. After we'd ordered, I started to unzip his fly really slowly. As I put my hand into his boxers, he stood up to greet his mom and dad who were joining us for dinner. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I were at dinner with his parents when he discreetly slid his hand up my skirt and tickled me. This caused me to kick his dad's recently broken leg. FML
Today, I was invited to my boyfriend's house for dinner for the first time. His mom made a fantastic dinner, so I showed my appreciation by eating the lot. Apparently I was overdoing it because when I looked up everyone was staring. His dad muttered, "Slow the hell down." FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's father for the first time. We were at a restaurant and my bofriend kept playing footsie with me under the table. When my boyfriend excused himself to go to the restroom, the game of footsie was still going on. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house. We were starting to get intimate, and I thought it would be kinky to tie his hands to his bed so he'd be more turned on. Suddenly his mom called us for dinner, but I couldn't untie him fast enough. I had to sit there, embarrassed, while his mom undid the rope. FML
Today, I brought my boyfriend of a year and a half to meet my parents. Turns out he dated my mom. This should be a fun dinner. FML
Today, my boyfriend was taking me to dinner to meet his parents. As we pulled into the restaurant valet, I saw a woman in a slutty dress and hooker heels get out of the car ahead of us. I jokingly asked if we had accidentally pulled into a strip club, pointing at the woman. It was his mother. FML
Today, I met my new boyfriend’s family for the first time. Unfortunately for me, his dad walked in to ask what we wanted for dinner while we were having sex. Even worse was that my boyfriend kept going while his dad was there, and his dad later said he was glad I was “the woman”. FML
Today, my boyfriend came before I'd even unbuttoned my pants. FML
Today, I had sex with this guy who I like very much. As he went to leave, I decided to give him one last thrill. I reached down his pants and started to rub and stroke him. He abruptly pulled my hand out. When I asked why, he pointed behind me. My mom had watched the whole thing. FML
Today, after having sexual intercourse with my boyfriend, we went downstairs to find his parents had come home early and had heard everything. I then received a long scolding from his mother of how I'd disrespected her house. My boyfriend received a high-five and a thumbs-up from his dad. FML
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Top comments
checkyesbecca 0
And you would be doing this at a public restaurant? You deserved it, don't be so stupid next time.
e86 0
I hope you intended on washing your hands before eating.
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Comments (311)
heavyop 0
#118 Since when are things like this meant for the bedroom? Do all other animals find a bedroom to have sex in too? Why are so many people disgusted by this? Sex is a natural part of being human and just because the OP gave him ONE handjob ONCE in a restaurant doesn't make her a ****/*****. People need to open their minds a little more, jeez. And for all of you complaining that other people can see/hear, what are you doing looking under other people's tables at their crotches?
wolfy_fml 5
****.
heavyop 0
#118 Since when are things like this meant for the bedroom? Do all other animals find a bedroom to have sex in too? Why are so many people disgusted by this? Sex is a natural part of being human and just because the OP gave him ONE handjob ONCE in a restaurant doesn't make her a ****/*****. People need to open their minds a little more, jeez. And for all of you complaining that other people can see/hear, what are you doing looking under other people's tables at their crotches?
cantelopenipples 0
this chick is a goddess
MissFae 0
For all the chicks making comments about hand-washing and "eeeew before you ate :O" does it not occur to you that some women might go so far as to put their mouths in direct contact with that dick anyways? [sarcasm]and even OMG God forbid, SWALLOW his load!?!?![/sarcasm] I feel ******* sorry for your BF's if you're that grossed out by potential penis-mouth contact. To the OP, good for you for keeping things fresh and fun, but I agree with those who call BS on this...there are parts of this story that are a lot less credible than the handjob in restaurant bit (srsly, I though everyone did that at some point in their life?). To all the rest of you prudes, a healthy sex life does not make a girl a **** or condemn the relationship as based on sex. A **** would have had a **** in each hand and one in her mouth under the table. Are you all that insecure that you need to fling shit at a girl for setting the bar too high for you to reach? I have a fantastic, loving relationship with my BF, we have plans to spend out lives together and have a family. We seem to fit together just perfectly is all aspects of our lives. But we do have a seriously active sex life that DOES involve some carefully concealed public sex acts as well as all sorts of fun things like bondage, role-play, toys, sharing ****, sexy texts and teases throughout the day....just as often as we have a good hard **** we make love as well. Great balance, lots of variety, loads and loads of fun.... It's just our hobby. We find it more satisfying than knitting and model trains. Who are you to judge?
Bceoo 0
So I'm guessing you want CockMeatSanwich for the main course?
jinbuster 0
i'm just trying to take in....why are you going to do that there? good luck with his rents lol
blueworld_fml 0
lol @ 169. That's actually kind of cool, although major boyfriend FAIL for not telling you who else was there. For everyone sicked out at this being in public, you can do things in public, you just have to be discreet. I can totally see how this would've worked if the boyfriend was not zoned out.
itsTiffany 0
Hahahaha... dumb boyfriend but YDI even more!
interestingO_O 0
I agree that fooling around in public is fine and can definitely be thrilling, but I do choose to respect that someone has to eat at the table when I get up and any mess I make has to be cleaned up by someone working there. A restaurant isn't exactly the place you want to be doing something like that, even if you aren't planning on giving a full-on hand job that goes to completion. Everything about this is ridiculous though. I lol'd.