Today, I went to dinner with my boyfriend. After we'd ordered, I started to unzip his fly really slowly. As I put my hand into his boxers, he stood up to greet his mom and dad who were joining us for dinner. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I were at dinner with his parents when he discreetly slid his hand up my skirt and tickled me. This caused me to kick his dad's recently broken leg. FML
Today, I was invited to my boyfriend's house for dinner for the first time. His mom made a fantastic dinner, so I showed my appreciation by eating the lot. Apparently I was overdoing it because when I looked up everyone was staring. His dad muttered, "Slow the hell down." FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's father for the first time. We were at a restaurant and my bofriend kept playing footsie with me under the table. When my boyfriend excused himself to go to the restroom, the game of footsie was still going on. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house. We were starting to get intimate, and I thought it would be kinky to tie his hands to his bed so he'd be more turned on. Suddenly his mom called us for dinner, but I couldn't untie him fast enough. I had to sit there, embarrassed, while his mom undid the rope. FML
Today, I brought my boyfriend of a year and a half to meet my parents. Turns out he dated my mom. This should be a fun dinner. FML
Today, my boyfriend was taking me to dinner to meet his parents. As we pulled into the restaurant valet, I saw a woman in a slutty dress and hooker heels get out of the car ahead of us. I jokingly asked if we had accidentally pulled into a strip club, pointing at the woman. It was his mother. FML
Today, I met my new boyfriend’s family for the first time. Unfortunately for me, his dad walked in to ask what we wanted for dinner while we were having sex. Even worse was that my boyfriend kept going while his dad was there, and his dad later said he was glad I was “the woman”. FML
Today, my boyfriend came before I'd even unbuttoned my pants. FML
Today, I had sex with this guy who I like very much. As he went to leave, I decided to give him one last thrill. I reached down his pants and started to rub and stroke him. He abruptly pulled my hand out. When I asked why, he pointed behind me. My mom had watched the whole thing. FML
Today, after having sexual intercourse with my boyfriend, we went downstairs to find his parents had come home early and had heard everything. I then received a long scolding from his mother of how I'd disrespected her house. My boyfriend received a high-five and a thumbs-up from his dad. FML
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Top comments
checkyesbecca 0
And you would be doing this at a public restaurant? You deserved it, don't be so stupid next time.
e86 0
I hope you intended on washing your hands before eating.
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Comments (311)
xKattAttack 0
#166 & #168: We're not animals. We're civilized human beings. If it's improper to ********** in public, which I'm fairly sure you'd agree with, it's improper to give someone a hand-job in public. It's called lewd behavior, and you can be arrested for it. :] And it's just stupid at a restaurant considering a waiter could walk up at any minute and put you in an awkward position pulling your hand out of your boyfriend's pants anyway. No, we're not prudes for thinking it's indecent to engage in foreplay in public. No, we don't disapprove of your amazing sex life. Just keep it behind closed doors where 5 year olds don't see you grabbing at your man's junk. Is it really that hard?
ClaireK_fml 0
Aaaaah, now see that? :] THIS is a good answer!! II mean, you do NOT give your boyfriend a hanjob in public!! How.... i can't even find the word.... Disgusting? Wrong? Improper? Nope, still looking...
rachelroller 0
Thank you #184! And how trashy of the OP. A movie? Yeah, everyone's been there done that. It's risky, fun, you get your adrenaline rush. Great. A public restaurant? Way different story. Don't try to defend it either.
Xodus_LT 0
Obviously your fault. YDI. Next time, don't be trashy and do things like that in public. Sheesh.
circayouandme 0
HA HA! Perfect timing.
0 3
WTF were you going to do? Play with him in a public restaurant?
OMGShoes1994 0
- um..wow? lulz @ #23 - what could happen at sea world scares me a bit. I think I can see it now - public hand-jobs, whales with boners - oh and passing by-standers, such as middle-aged pedos and terrified children (can't forget that).
scottyz1 0
God we all know what you ordered! The $10 all-you-can eat penis.
Youtuber 0
Ok It's half your fault. You didn't have to get into his pants (literally) at a restaurant. But also, why didn't he feel your hand about to touch his junk??? What did his parents says?
Anonymice_fml 0
Well, that was clever.
bsneeze 0
You were trying to give him a sexy handshake under that table...dirty