Today, we got my brother a pet hamster because he has trouble making friends. We thought a hamster would be a good way to teach him about caring for others. I walked into the room and the hamster was hanging from the ceiling. Turns out there's a reason my brother doesn't have friends. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my brother's new kitten decided to bring me a gift as a sign of love. It was my pet hamster. FML
Today, I walked in on my little brother making a Devil's trap so he could capture the demon he thinks is possessing my hamster. FML
Today, I thought my hamster might be lonely, so I went to the pet shop and bought a new one to keep him company. The new hamster killed the old one. FML
Today, my sister brought her class hamster home from school. Somehow it escaped from its cage, and ran into my room. My boyfriend, thinking it was a mouse, stomped on it. I'm stuck cleaning hamster guts from my carpet, and have to explain to a kindergarten class what happened to their pet. FML
Today, my mom wanted to surprise me by buying me a hamster. When I got into her car, I was actually surprised and even said, "Hi" to the hamster. When we got home, the hamster was dead. FML
Today, I showed my family my new pet hamster. At the sight of him, my grandmother, who I had no idea hated rodents, let out a loud screech, causing my usually docile hamster to bite me and piss in my cupped hand. FML
Today, I found out my creepy, obsessive neighbor got a pet hamster and named it after me. He has been telling all sorts of stories about his hamster using my name, and he just told me in detail how it died of heart attack. FML
Today, my new roommate decided to put his pet hamster in the same cage as my beloved hamster. Apparently he wanted them to make hamster babies. They are both males. His hamster attacked mine and tore it to pieces. I just finished cleaning up the mess. FML
Today, I was looking after a hamster for a friend. My dog ate it. FML
Today, my hamster gave birth. The babies were very cute and I couldn't resist petting one. Apparently touching a baby hamster will cause it's mother to reject and devour it. I am now know in my family as "The Hamster Slaughterer." FML
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Top comments
i_live2fly 0
OMFG that is one ****** up kid!!!!!!!!
steakpak 0
Ya, that's gonna be a little problem. Most serial killers have a history of harming animals as children. You should seriously seek some professional help for him.
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Comments (511)
star_ver 0
#71, completely wrong personality disorder... Borderline Personality Disorder has nothing to do with harming animals. Nice try, though. @OP: As everyone else has already said, you might want to encourage your parents to get that boy some help. That is not a good look, at all.
happy_me 0
Sucks dude....my friends kid blew up a hamster in a microwave...maybe we should set up a playdate!
Noodlz4 0
dude...lock your door at night
isabella12195 0
boys do things like this right? w.e i dont think that this is an FML
stefrog 0
The Humane Society would love that story. Also, animal cruelty is a sign of Anti-social Personality Disorder, the nice new name for SOCIOPATH. You can't fix that so the best thing to do is never allow him access to any other animals, small children, and definitely lock you doors or lock him up somewhere. Seriously.
zveltsen 2
Yikes. Seek help asap.
markssh 0
What's gonna work? Team-work! Wonderpets is now -1.
DankJemo 0
Yeah, I don't think you should get him a pet, I think your parents should send him to a shrink or something, since torturing animals is a warning sign of being a potential serial killer.
regalarius 0
There are a number of people that this world would be better off without. I'm willing to bet this kid will prove to be one of them.
dky640 0
michael myers in the making