Today, we got my brother a pet hamster because he has trouble making friends. We thought a hamster would be a good way to teach him about caring for others. I walked into the room and the hamster was hanging from the ceiling. Turns out there's a reason my brother doesn't have friends. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my brother's new kitten decided to bring me a gift as a sign of love. It was my pet hamster. FML
Today, I walked in on my little brother making a Devil's trap so he could capture the demon he thinks is possessing my hamster. FML
Today, I thought my hamster might be lonely, so I went to the pet shop and bought a new one to keep him company. The new hamster killed the old one. FML
Today, my sister brought her class hamster home from school. Somehow it escaped from its cage, and ran into my room. My boyfriend, thinking it was a mouse, stomped on it. I'm stuck cleaning hamster guts from my carpet, and have to explain to a kindergarten class what happened to their pet. FML
Today, my mom wanted to surprise me by buying me a hamster. When I got into her car, I was actually surprised and even said, "Hi" to the hamster. When we got home, the hamster was dead. FML
Today, I showed my family my new pet hamster. At the sight of him, my grandmother, who I had no idea hated rodents, let out a loud screech, causing my usually docile hamster to bite me and piss in my cupped hand. FML
Today, I found out my creepy, obsessive neighbor got a pet hamster and named it after me. He has been telling all sorts of stories about his hamster using my name, and he just told me in detail how it died of heart attack. FML
Today, my new roommate decided to put his pet hamster in the same cage as my beloved hamster. Apparently he wanted them to make hamster babies. They are both males. His hamster attacked mine and tore it to pieces. I just finished cleaning up the mess. FML
Today, I was looking after a hamster for a friend. My dog ate it. FML
Today, my hamster gave birth. The babies were very cute and I couldn't resist petting one. Apparently touching a baby hamster will cause it's mother to reject and devour it. I am now know in my family as "The Hamster Slaughterer." FML
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Top comments
i_live2fly 0
OMFG that is one ****** up kid!!!!!!!!
steakpak 0
Ya, that's gonna be a little problem. Most serial killers have a history of harming animals as children. You should seriously seek some professional help for him.
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Comments (511)
angel03260 0
281- but did you hang your dead brid from the ceiling?
Skikkles 0
Yeah, I'm calling Shenanigans on this one..
eeee93757 0
Um......**** your life? Why? Because your brother likes to kill things? You must be the worlds biggest narcissist to tell a story about how your brother doesn't have friends and how he killed his pet hamster and bring it all around to say "**** my life." Why don't you get over yourself?
slashstalker 0
That's f***ed up. FYL
define_statutory 0
the ceiling? how tall is this child?
FreedomFirst 0
Sounds like you need to get him counseling sessions. Seriously. They say Jeffrey Dahmer started out dissolving mice in acid. You don't want your little brother to end up on AMW as a serial killer.
Lisimal 7
Pinche MANIACO!!!
Samabenjamim 0
Hahaha! One of the best.
Rosebell26 0
wow, that's scary. i've gotta say, i can't argue with the people suggesting that you pursue professional help for your little brother.
FreedomFirst 0
#123, bad idea. Kids like that tend to be the setting fires type, not the run after you with a brick type. A barricade would only seal your fate. #164, you're an idiot. That kind of attitude is probably one of the reasons he's messed up to start with. You'd only make things worse. I never heard of a serial killer who wasn't abused as a child. That should tell you something, OP. Please, please get him some help before it's too late. You have no idea how much can happen right in your own home without you knowing.