Today, I lifted up my blinds, only for them to detach from the wall, hit me on the head, knock a pile of paper over, spill a can of Pepsi, leave plaster all over the floor and a gaping hole in the wall above my window. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while taking pills for a headache, I threw my head back to help get the pills down, and in the process, whacked it against the brick windowsill behind me. FML
Today, I woke up and the sun was blinding me through my attic window. I have no blinds so I got a poster from my wall and stuck it to the wood on my window with nails. Turns out I have wood rot, and my entire window fell out. FML
Today, I tried to open my water bottle, which is like trying to open a pickle jar, and after several seconds, it exploded all over my desk and clothes. Then, when I was going to get paper towels and a change of clothes, I slipped on the puddle and hit my head on my desk as I came crashing down. FML
Today, I decided to be productive and clean behind my couch. I found dust, old receipts, and one sock I thought was stolen by the universe. When I stood up proudly, I smashed my head on the shelf above. I knocked down three picture frames. All shattered. FML
Today, when it started raining, I remembered that I'd left my kitchen windows open. I hurried to close them, but slipped in a huge puddle and slid into the wall, making a huge hole in it with my knee. FML
Today, while I was sleeping, I managed to knock down the curtains by my bed. That would explain the gash on my head and blood on my bed. FML
Today, at work, I managed to hit myself in the face with a large sheet pan. The force made me back into a shelf, which knocked a box off the top, which hit me in the head and knocked me out-cold. I now have a fat lip, a sore head, and bruises all over from the fall. FML
Today, after sweeping up a spill, I managed to break the cupboard door. With my head. FML
Today, my alarm went off. I reached to swat it, missed, slipped, smacked my face on my dresser, and fell on the floor. As I picked myself up off the floor, I hit my head on the open top drawer of my other dresser. In 30 seconds of consciousness, I was attacked by two pieces of furniture. FML
Today, I gave the back door a slight nudge to make sure it was latched shut. Of course, it flew wide open, causing me to smash my face into the doorframe, fall out onto the back porch writhing in pain, and have blood pissing out of my face. FML
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Top comments
MrCalves 1
sounds like a massive clusterf*ck
OwNowBrownCow 0
Should have had a V8 instead.
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Comments (166)
Kookish 2
Chaos theory. Sorry, OP
deathcab7 0
haha op said "knocked over a pile of paper." plurals faillll.
spaceboyftw 0
MOUNTAIN ******* DEW. and all u bitches saying drink coke instead of pepsi, coke is so god damn bad for you.......way worse than pepsi so **** that
iliekpuddin 0
typical Monday morning...
oogie_boggie 0
ORANGE JUICE IS BETTER! o wait... i thought we were arguing for best juices...sorry wrong fml
TwoStrikeBadAss 0
So much for the sunny view if the day eh?!
icantellu 7
Eh, it's ok. Pepsi isn't that good anyways. You didn't miss out.
xxochristineox 3
don't drink pepsi! it's gross!!!
colinloyd 4
I've don't that.
ChocolateTazer 0
Rube Goldberg, ftw.