Today, I was just about to sit down to watch my favorite TV show when my dog jumped over the back of my couch, landed on my head and tried to jump through the window. I now have concussion and a window to replace, all because of a bird. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a bird ran into my window. My overzealous cat ran at it like the Flash and smashed his face in the window. He yelped and ran away, then as I was running to see if he was OK, I slammed my face in the door jamb. FML
Today, I was walking in the kitchen with my parrot on my shoulder and my dog running around. Something freaked out my bird and she bit my ear and started flapping her wings in my face. Surprised, I took a step back, tripped over my dog, fell, hit my head on the stove, and got knocked unconscious. FML
Today, a stray dog came up to my living room window. My pitbull went into attack mode and tried to jump through said window, while it was closed. Now I have to pay to replace the window, and pay to get stitches for my idiot dog. FML
Today, I was caring for a bird that had flown into my window. I thought the poor thing wouldn't make it, when it shit in my hand, flew into my neck, then around my living room for ages before I could manage to get it out of the window. FML
Today, I was showing off my new pet bird to my friends over video chat. I opened the cage to demonstrate how friendly he was. Instead of perching on my finger like usual, he flew out the window. I spent the next hour chasing him around the neighborhood in my pajamas. FML
Today, I walked out into my backyard. As I did so, my dogs ran past me, slamming the sliding door off its track. I went to catch it, and knocked the bird cage over. To complete the fumble, as I turned to catch the bird cage, I stepped in a dog turd. I wasn't wearing shoes. We're all okay, but… FML
Today, my dog decided to fly through the front door like Superman. All 180lbs of her promptly slammed sideways into the wall, putting a dog-sized hole in the plaster. FML
Today, instead of waking up to soft sunlight creeping in the window or the gentle trill of birds, I was awakened by the sound of my dog vomiting all over my bed. FML
Today, my cat tried to jump up to the window, and missed. This would have been hilarious if I had not been sleeping under that same window, and then caught him with my face. FML
Today, I found a dead bird on my windshield. Thinking I was clever, I turned on my windshield wipers to get the bird off. Unfortunately, the dead bird fell through my open window and onto my lap. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
dan13mey 0
But...is the dog ok?
LucianDeSouza 4
Well having a pet means you have a package of fortunate and unfortunate events .
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (163)
smirnoff1695 0
My dog was recently diagnosed with a form on mental retardation...but he didn't break any windows or give me a concussion but he did fall down the steps yesterday.
dDayne 0
Love it!
jellyD 1
Bahahahahaha!
leadman1989 16
Sounds like you have a huge dog good job. :)
wrwrestler7 1
You deserved it bcuz you don't have Gorell triple pane windows, that are shatterproof and have a replaceable lifetime warranty! They also have a GUARANTEE of a whopping 40% reduction in your heating and cooling bills every month for the rest of your life from what the bills were before... and any month they aren't 40% lower we will REFUND THE DIFFERENCE. Call 571 505 6901 (my cell) for a FREE energy consultation on windows if you live in VA!
hartrum 0
well time to take doggy for a walk in the wods bye bye dog
mariah_2014 0
If u rlly had a concussion u would not be looking at an electronics screen
QueenSaru 28
Concussion symptoms =/= migraine symptoms. I had a concussion, strep throat, and food poisoning all at once before, and except for a pounding headache and pain when I moved my eyes, light/noise etc didn't make a difference in the level of the pain like it does for migraines.
bdjavsj 0
Omg is the dog okay.?
iFizzgig 11
Good thing that the bird wasn't on the tv
ast3150 13
Actually it's because of your stupid dog