Today, I'm on a road trip with my girlfriends, and they're all telling each other stories about their sex lives. Me, as I'm a virgin, I'm writing this FML, bored to death due to not having anything to contribute to the conversation. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, during sex, my girlfriend got so bored that she asked me to tell her a story. FML
Today, I went out of town with my mother-in-law. I don't know what possessed her to start questioning me about her son's and my sex life. When I told her I wasn't talking about that, she began to discuss her and my father-in-law's bedroom habits. The car ride was two hours. FML
Today, I was driving 3 of my guy friends to a party that was half an hour away. There was an awkward silence for most of the trip. I just figured out why now. I've had sex with all 3 of my guy friends. They talk about it when I'm not around. FML
Today, my boyfriend really gets off hearing me talk about previous sexual experiences in extreme detail while we are having sex. I have run out of real stories, so now I just make stuff up, but it's getting hard keeping track. FML
Today, at work during lunch, a bunch of the girls were talking about their husbands and boyfriends and sex stuff. I unfortunately got involved and basically made shit up and lied my ass off because no way would they believe I’m a virgin at 37, who last had a boyfriend in high school. FML
Today, I had to listen to my mom give a detailed description of her date last night to her friends via speakerphone... while I was trapped in the car with her. When I pointed out that I was still in the back seat, she scoffed and told me, "I have a sex life, deal with it." FML
Today, in the middle of having sex, my girlfriend stopped moaning. I asked what was wrong. She said, "I'm bored." FML
Today, I went camping with my girlfriend and best friend. They are now having blood-curdling sex in our tent. My friend is also my ride home. FML
Today, I started my week-long girlscation with two of my childhood friends. So far, one hasn't stopped burping, farting, or talking about "needing dick", and the other can't stop trying to one up everyone else in the car. Day one out of five. Sigh. FML
Today, my constant bragging to friends caught up with me, and everyone believes I'm a swinger. Because of this, no girl wants to go out with me, in case they become just another notch under my belt. The truth is, I'm still a virgin. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
You need to watch **** and "borrow" the story lines of the action. Choose wisely -- they probably won't believe your tales of double penetration because they probably doubt you could even get one guy to bang you.
goodsoup 3
there’s nothing wrong with being a virgin, just enjoy the trip, you don’t need to relate to everything to have a good time
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Comments (4)
RichardPencil 32
You need to watch **** and "borrow" the story lines of the action. Choose wisely -- they probably won't believe your tales of double penetration because they probably doubt you could even get one guy to bang you.
Chazzster 32
There is a real possibility at least some of your friends are either making it up or quoting **** or a movie… Kudos to you for not lying or making stuff up!
Wadlaen 24
Well, at least you'll quite a bit of inspiration when it's your turn to loose your virginity from what they're telling you now, maybe you should take notes?
goodsoup 3
there’s nothing wrong with being a virgin, just enjoy the trip, you don’t need to relate to everything to have a good time