Today, it's been the fourth day in the row my pregnant girlfriend peed the bed. It's also the fourth day I have to clean it since she's too embarrassed to do it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend has become such a workaholic that I found her sitting in her office, soaked in piss. When I called her out, she said she didn't want to take bathroom breaks anymore, and asked me to buy diapers. FML
Today, I found out why my girlfriend of 8 months has never agreed to stay the night before. Now I have a 4-month old mattress that needs replacing, and a 23-year-old bedwetter for a girlfriend. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I went to see a horror movie. It ended up scaring her so badly that she refused to leave our bed all night long, even to pee. I have to clean the mattress now. FML
Today, for the third time, I’ve had to clean a puddle of pee from the bathroom floor. I live alone, and I’m a girl. FML
Today, I am now sleeping on the floor because my friend got super drunk at a small party then peed herself in her sleep. I was sleeping beside her and my clothes smell like pee. FML
Today, my very pregnant wife woke up in bed, grabbing her stomach and writhing in pain. Worried that the baby might be in distress, I asked her what was wrong. She gasped then let out what can only be described as a river of hot liquid shit all over herself and my legs. We both cried. FML
Today, I washed the comforter one of my nine-month-old kittens peed on last night. Just as soon as my boyfriend put it on the bed, she peed on it again. FML
Today, because I am pregnant with a weak bladder, I woke up with morning sickness and had to decide very quickly whether I wanted to vomit or pee in the toilet. I now have to clean the chunks off the wall. FML
Today, I woke up after a night out partying only to find I'd wet the bed. I was so ashamed that I rolled my girlfriend into it to avoid taking the blame. FML
Today, marks the third week in which my girlfriend has gone without taking a shower. She does this every so often, taking showers roughly once per month. She's convinced baby wipes will "hold her over". FML
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Top comments
s_ve 7
You should probably just throw your phone away because clearly you have nothing smart or interesting to say.
MandazInTC 33
Invest in a water proof mat or sheet for the bed.
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Comments (19)
DanielleinDC 34
She's incubating y'all's kid. You can change the sheets for her. Also have her call her doc about it to see what can be done to either stop her peeing the bed or prevent the mess from getting on the sheets.
redthepanda 7
don't be a dick and posting stuff like this to Shame her. she is carrying your child. you should be there and be supportive without making a big deal about it. can't imagine what you would post about your kids when they do the same thing.
Lola Rose Tyler 17
Im pretty sure the people who are agreeing your life sucks are a bunch of men who don’t know what it’s like to be a human incubator for 9/10 months. I still have issues with peeing because pregnancy not only makes a baby it irreversibly changes your body. She’s making your ******* kid don’t be a dick.