Today, I went to a new bar with friends. After arriving I became extremely gassy, so I planned a smooth release during the loud music. Little did I know, the bar occasionally dips its music to hear the guests singing. When the music turned off, all eyes turned to me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was sitting next to the guy I am trying to get close to while we were at the bar. Music was playing, so I thought that while his attention was diverted I would sneak out a yawn. Just as I did so, the music went silent and I let out a tremendous burp. FML
Today, I went to a very crowded restaurant. Being really shy, I requested to sit in the corner, but instead they placed me in the center of the dinning area. I started to eat my food and got really spaced out. Suddenly I sneeze-farted and everyone turned to look at me. FML
Today, I went to an orchestra concert. Halfway through the performance I had to fart really bad, so I decided to try and sneak it in while the orchestra was playing a loud exciting part. Just as I let it rip, there was a dramatic pause in the music. Everyone heard. FML
Today, I was at a friend's birthday party in a packed karaoke bar/restaurant and I drunkenly agreed to sing. I picked a song I thought I knew by heart, only to realize halfway through that the lyrics on the screen were not at all what I thought they were. My brain went for a smoke break or something, and I turned into a rambling mess. The crowd actually booed. FML
Today, I got together with a small gathering of friends in a bar. I go up to the bar to order something, but with all the music and noise, the barman can't hear what I'm trying to say, so he leans forward, cocking his ear towards me. For some reason, I thought he was being friendly so I kissed him as if we were saying hello to each other. FML
Today, while walking down the aisle of a movie theatre, I passed gas so loudly that the audience missed the climax of the film laughing at me. FML
Today, I farted at a crowded concert, and people started commenting on said fart. I specifically went out of my way to eat certain foods all day so that it wouldn't happen. FML
Today, while waiting for class, I let out a huge fart in front of everyone thinking no one would hear it over the music. I was wearing headphones. FML
Today, while working at my desk alone and with my headphones in, I suddenly let loose a loud stream of gas. As I shifted uncomfortably in my seat, I saw, in the reflection of my laptop, that my roommate had been sitting silently on the couch right behind me. FML
Today, I fell asleep at a party. I farted so loud that I woke myself up. Everyone heard. FML
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Top comments
xblaine 17
Trumpet solo!
LissaMccracken 23
Woah. Did they all applaud you? ;)
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Comments (83)
Enslaved 38
"When we up in the club- All eyes on us" Did that gas make you "wanna scream and shout and let it all out"? No worries-- Will I Am had you in mind when he wrote this song. :P
ElatedEarthling 15
What about Eminem? "Oops my CD just skipped, and everyone just heard you let one rip..."
awilso13 8
Instant fav lol.
loserman67 36
I hope you were in tune at least...
LookAttMyyLifee 12
*point to the guy next to you* wasn't me.
Sopho_o 15
Can people start to learn that farting in public never ends well?!
WhiteCrimson 23
Hahahahahahahahahaha atleast you got alot of peoples attention at once. Quicker than most people can get one persons attention. Standing ovation for you my man.
christian_slate 16
At least the music wasn't Sir Mix-A-Lot rapping "I like big butts."
RedPillSucks 33
big butts >>> farting butts
Slackness 10
As Eric Clapton sang, 'Let if Flow'. Top fartage.
arre2006 19
Gas X before every outing son. Don't steal the show next time
RedPillSucks 33
Not a single "Girls don't fart" comment...