Today, my wife yet again started nagging me about a project I've been working on. With every single whiny word spewed from her yap, I could feel my excitement diminish, until it was replaced entirely with resentment and a craving for beer. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after days of my wife nagging me, I started working on the flat pack furniture she ordered. Every twenty minutes, she interrupted me to demand I stop and help her with something trivial and irrelevant. Now I remember why I postpone projects as long as possible. FML
Today, my wife is upset at me for having to remind her of her responsibilities. She dropped the ball several times in the past, and she hates that I remind her to prepare for upcoming deadlines. FML
Today, my wife bitched me out 3 times in a row, for things that were not even my fault: for turning my Xbox on, even though I only nudged the button accidentally with my toe; opening a beer when it was actually a Pepsi for our son, and walking loudly when I "know she has a headache," which I didn’t. FML
Today, my wife can't be bothered to do anything that isn't work, talk about her work, and sit on the sofa. Then she complains that I don't show any affection, when she can be bothered to even talk to me. FML
Today, after weeks of slaving away, I finally wrapped up the last house project on the backlog. I decided to take a day to relax around the house in celebration. My wife spent all day following me around, moaning that I never go anywhere, and that she never gets any space. FML
Today, I came home in an awful mood, and grumbled to my wife that sometimes I want to strangle my boss. My wife regularly screams up and down the house over the most minor shit, but apparently this upset her so much that she took the kids to her mom's, and is demanding I get anger management. FML
Today, in the middle of one of the worst migraines of the year, I asked my wife if she could kindly stop trying to tell me about the latest neighbourhood gossip at 130 decibels. Cue her loudly nagging in my ear about how I’m mean for not wanting to spend time with her anymore. FML
Today, I ignored my wife's phone calls at work, since all she ever wants to do is complain or talk about chores and projects. An hour later, security called my desk. She'd shown up at work to bitch me out for ignoring her. Now I'm the laughing stock of my workplace. FML
Today, I'm exhausted and sore from a long night of pulling semis out of the snow. My wife is pissed because I want to sleep, instead of be with her. Every time I drift off, she starts doing things like loudly unloading the dishwasher or standing by our bedroom door talking loudly on the phone. FML
Today, I got home from work and was immediately greeted by my wife following me around, moaning and complaining endlessly. I got so fed up that I went into the fridge, cut some cheese, and gave it to her, saying, "Some cheese to go with the whine." She broke the plate over my head. It was worth it. FML
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Top comments
core01 30
Then, divorce her. Obviously you both suck at communicating and you have zero plans to change that. Pull the plug
Justkidding100 41
why do you marry a woman you hate in the first place? I'd never describe someone I loved like that
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Comments (6)
Justkidding100 41
why do you marry a woman you hate in the first place? I'd never describe someone I loved like that
anony_mouse 5
Wow...the way you talk about your wife makes it clear how abusive you are. I hope she realizes how much of a piece of shit you are before it's too late.
Pink_Turnips 14
LMFAO WHAT???? you must be trolling
Battousai124 9
No, obviously he had literally not even basic human decency left for her, evidence is his phrasing. So better for her to leave this abusive piece of humansized garbage.
core01 30
Then, divorce her. Obviously you both suck at communicating and you have zero plans to change that. Pull the plug
FluffythePink 23
Divorce. Seriously, Mate, before this 'relationship' turns you into an alcoholic...
EpicOracle 24
This is why marriage scares me
tiptoppc 21
Only if you pick the wrong partner
BloodyButUnbowed 32
The wife certainly did.
Jall8089 9
YOUR whining makes me sick. Grow up and grow a pair.