Today, when I woke up I checked my phone for messages, only to hear a woman screaming that I have been sleeping with her husband and that she is sending her 'people' after me. I have never met said husband. I panicked for hours, only to receive a call telling me she had dialed the wrong number. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a woman screamed at me for five minutes, demanding to know how long I'd been having an affair with her husband. I explained for the second time that she'd dialed a wrong number. FML
Today, I got a call from the guy I have been seeing. I wasn't him. It was his wife wondering why I have her husband's number. FML
Today, I received frantic calls and messages from my husband wondering where I was and if I was cheating on him. I was in the same house as him. FML
Today, I received a random phone call from an unknown number. Three times. After the third time, the person started yelling at me viciously. Then I suddenly heard a different voice, saying, "Terribly sorry, sir. My poor sister has dementia and thinks you're her husband. Her dead husband, I might add." FML
Today, my husband left his phone at home. I looked through his contacts and found a person named "The Bitch." Being very curious, I called "The Bitch" to see who it was. My phone rang. FML
Today, I got woken up by a text from an unknown number at 3 am saying, "haha I found your number." I ignored it and tried to go back to sleep. After hours of trying to fall asleep, my drowsiness was disturbed by another text from the same person saying, "Sorry, wrong number." FML
Today, while I was sleeping, my girlfriend took my phone and set the ringtone to a bloodcurdling scream. I found this out when I received a call while driving to work and, thinking someone was being murdered in my backseat, I panicked and swerved into a parked car. FML
Today my best friend called me at 6 a.m., ranting and accusing me of sleeping with her husband. I live two hours away and haven't seen him in person in over six months. FML
Today, I woke up, thinking it was going to be a good day. However, when I looked at my phone, I saw that my girlfriend had sent me an obscene number of angry messages, which are still coming in, because I forgot to say goodnight to her last night. FML
Today, my husband woke me up by sending me a picture of a guy I used to semi-see. The same night my boyfriend sent me a furious text asking why I didn’t tell him I’m married, because my husband has found his Instagram and was harassing him online. Like, leave me alone. FML
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Top comments
ohmandapants 17
Well, at least now you know you're safe...unless she got the other woman's address confused with yours too...
lolapple 0
Bitches be crazy
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Comments (112)
perdix 31
For all the trouble she caused you, she ought to send over her husband and let you give him a *******. That sounds fair.
KiddNYC1O 22
While blowing him, she'll keep one eye open and one foot out the door just to make sure. LOL
GoW_Chick 15
Exactly I mean she had already accused and verbally assaulted OP she deserves something why not even it out by pimping out the husband he's cheating anyways why not control it
Torva_fml 16
Who said he was cheating? From what I read, a crazy woman accused OP of ******* her husband..... Bitches be crazy.
beelee1988 13
37- She saud she had the wrong number. She could quite possibly have the proof that he cheated, and actually knows who she is. Just a thought.
beelee1988 13
Said*
ThecomingofTan 9
Some people, OP. I had someone call me one time looking for a Tyrone, and I told her that no one by that name lives here. So she ended up calling back 4 times because she was sure she had the right number. I finally told her to pull her head out of her transsexual cousin's ass and to realize the she had the wrong number.
jcarolina 4
Cause that was necessary.
Eiregal2 10
Where her people angry Irish immigrants? Cause if so trust me, our barks REALLY are worse the our bites lol, we all talk. Except if you insult the mammy though. Then I'm gonna go top a da morning on your ass!!
ninjuh_wingman 29
The ****? Who was she gonna send? The Justice League?
Eiregal2 10
I know right?? Makes you never want to answer the phone again lol
KiddNYC1O 22
Meanwhile, at the Hall of Doom...
ICATiger 13
Megatron was doing the robot......
downtime 13
Probably not the entire league, just aquaman. He's desperate for any human interaction.
KiddNYC1O 22
You can't mess with the I-talians. They call a hit on anyone. =P
xSorry_fml 10
She was just meth'n with you. Don't worry she is now too busy peaking out of the blinds to be concerned with you anymore.
ICATiger 13
Is it just me or did it say 'I have never met said husband' in the FML???
KiddNYC1O 22
As in the husband mentioned earlier in the anecdote...
acceptyourfate 8
It's a little thing called the english language ...
marzipanimal 15
I saww that too....
RockstarRN 10
Why would you panic? Does she have magic psychic powers to get your address?
Gregabob00 0
Bitches should blame the husband first...
TreeStarOsaurus 0
At least she called and said she knew she had the wrong number. I hope she apologized to you. People are just ridiculous. Why would she attack the chick who was banging her guy anyway? It would be one thing to make a call and give her a heads up he is taken and then if there was a rude response deal with it whichever way you want. It's possible that the other girl had no idea he was taken. I have been in a situation like this and I won't straight to him and left his ass and that was that!
TreeStarOsaurus 0
Went*