Today, I was at a family get together with distant relatives. My grandma made a point to say how all of the grandkids brought their boyfriends or girlfriends. She looked at me, then turned to everyone and said, "But not our Becky! She's more interested in her cats right now than finding a man." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my family was watching a football game and kept mentioning their team's quarterback's name and, as I'm not a football fan by any means, asked them who this was. My grandma then turned to me and said, "This is why you don't have a boyfriend." FML
Today, my grandma called me to tell me that a couple of cute boys stopped by her house to borrow something. She told them all about me, and that I would be interested in them. My love life is so pathetic, even my grandmother is trying to hook me up. FML
Today, I brought my girlfriend of six months over to meet my family. When my grandpa saw her, he said, "What a waste of good breeding stock." FML
Today, my grandma got a new boyfriend. She dumped the old one because "His wife was taking too long to die." FML
Today, I visited my 90-year-old great-grandmother and her boyfriend. This wouldn't be a problem, if this boyfriend wasn't different than the one she had yesterday. She told me not to tell him about "the other one". FML
Today, I attended a family reunion, during which my grandma gave me "relationship advice" in front of everyone. She's been married five times, and her longest marriage lasted a whole 6 months. FML
Today, my grandma wasn't feeling well, so I went to her house to check on her. After about 20 minutes, I knew she was feeling better when she looked at me and said, "So, do you have a boyfriend yet? I pray every night that I get to live long enough to see you with a boyfriend." FML
Today, I went to a family gathering and was asked by multiple relatives why I was still single. Trying to lighten the mood, I joked that in fact I do have a secret admirer. My little cousin yelled out, "Is it your cat?" He was right, even though, come to think about it, I'm not sure my cat even likes me all that much. FML
Today, my grandmother called me to tell me that there will be a nice, single guy for me to meet at the family reunion. She went on and on about how perfect he was for me. I didn't have the heart to tell her I'm a lesbian, and have been out to the rest of the family for over six years. FML
Today, my religious parents were hosting a family dinner. Not only did we have to wait over an hour for my grandma to finally show up, but when she did, she had her 30 year old boytoy in tow. Apparently, "Granny has needs too you know, hahaha!" Goodbye peaceful family. FML
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Top comments
elara15 0
Finding a man should never be a "priority," Grandma! Let's not encourage overpopulation and the scarcity of resources.
danyeell 0
Well when all your sisters are sobbing over the fact that their relationships have ended and are enduring the heartbreak, you'll still have your cats, :)
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Comments (58)
jeffy_lima 0
cats make good lovers ;) we are talking about ******* right? jk
squiffymaguffy 0
Oh god I can empathise with that one...
idontgiveone 0
:)
plethora 3
"And then there's young Kate, who left one boy to come here with another and is meeting a third later tonight. At least our Becky's not a giant ****!" There's one of each in every family.
idontgiveone 0
aww well at least u dont have to hear her abstinance lessons :)
babawaba 0
I dont see the problem. Cats are just that awesome.
hamzy 0
I am speaking my mind and I am trying to be respectful.
rukusrazor 0
lol #18, if only that was short for some other, more formal / distinguished name. But it's not. /Original or NEW Becky? //Yeah, I just made a ******* Rosanne joke. I'm not proud of it.
firebrand111 0
Really #1...maybe that's the reason you don't have a boyfriend right now, but you can't be serious, can you? HEY! REALITY CHECK FOR EVERYONE! WHEN YOU STOP LOOKING FOR THAT SPECIAL PERSON, YOU FND THEM!
Mabel1989 0
Maybe next year...you should hire someone to pretend to be your boyfriend so the family gets off your back. Then you'll ACTUALLY fall in love with the guy, AND ABCFamily would turn your life into a movie. Oh wait, pretty sure that's been done in a zillion movies already...but I guess that means it must work, huh? Good luck!
DamionDude 0
I frakkin laughed at the ABCFamily part! I would call it, "The Boyfriend Plan." Lol :)