Today, I was eating cereal and decided to warm it up to see what it tasted like. So, using a candle in the room I placed my spoon over the flame and waited to see if it heated up. Pleased with my silly experiment, I put the spoon back in my mouth. I now can't talk because of my swollen tongue. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I decided to have cereal for breakfast. I poured the cereal in the bowl, added the milk and had a spoonful. Then I realized that my cereal was moving in the back of my mouth. FML
Today, I popped something straight out of the oven into my mouth. It burned my tongue instantly, but instead of spitting it out, I swallowed. I felt it burning all the way down. Now I can’t eat solid food or drink hot drinks. FML
Today, I tried to warm soup in a travel mug. I forgot to take the metal spoon out. The microwave lit up like a firework display, and I screamed so loudly that my neighbor knocked on my door to check if I was alive. FML
Today, I burned my nose. How? I tried sniffing a lit candle. FML
Today, I made a cup of tea at work. Whilst talking to a workmate, I took a sip of the tea, which I had forgotten was boiling hot, and laughed at the same time, causing it to come out of my nose. I have blistered my whole mouth and even burnt my nostrils. FML
Today, as I was trying to remove my lunch from the hot oven tray, my finger brushed against the metal for a moment, and I instinctively put it in my mouth. I burnt my tongue, on my finger. I didn't realize that was possible. FML
Today, I was using the same metal spoon to stir boiling noodles and the pasta sauce I was heating up. I decided to taste the sauce and see if it was getting warm, forgetting that the spoon was sitting in boiling water three seconds earlier. FML
Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right inside my mouth. My tongue got stung. FML
Today, I woke up after putting my child to bed. Drowsy, I stumbled down to the kitchen to make a mug cookie. I read a recipe on my phone, and put a knob of butter in a cup to melt in the microwave. I put my phone in the microwave and turned it on for 30 seconds, and didn't realize what I'd done until I smelt burning plastic. FML
Today, I burned my tongue. With a flat iron. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
RyanRaygun 0
Not to mention your heroin habit.
chakrabs 0
What are you, an idiot? Why wouldnt you use a microwave? I use it all the time with my cereal, its too cold sometimes and hurts my teeth. 10 seconds in the nuker is usually enough.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (411)
xolotl 0
i wish someone would invent the microwave. then these things wouldn't happen. btw, there's no way you thought you'd actually get sympathy for heating up a spoon and putting it in your mouth.
mimimi_fml 0
tomorrow morning, you should try having cold cereal. stick the metal spoon with cereal on it, into the freezer for 10 mins. then take it out and put it into your mouth right away. idiot.
jaca6614 0
I guess this is a little late now, but in case you didn't know, fire is hot. you = fail
checkyesbecca 0
hahahaha wow.
fashion_lover 0
People like you should be naturally selected against.
something21 0
wow, are you retarded?
rach_magoo 0
YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY RETARDED.
RNorthlandLGB 0
wowww age..?
ProjectD13X 0
is ur first name jack because i swear i know u
1AAC 0
Are you serious?