Today, I had sex for the first time with my boyfriend. It was his first time too. While in bed, he blankly stopped and stood up and got out a piece of paper from his pocket. Turns out he'd written instructions on what to do while in bed, and forgot what he had to do next. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. After he'd repeatedly told me not to worry about bleeding, and reassuring me that he'd take care of me, he passed out halfway through. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. After what seemed like an eternity of waiting, he finally entered me, then paused and asked me, "What do I do now?" FML
Today, my boyfriend of a month and I had sex for the first time. We started in the shower and then moved to his bedroom. He then feel asleep when I was on top. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, I had my first orgasm. He thought something was wrong, so he stopped. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were going to have sex for the first time. He didn't know how to take off my bra and insisted that he'd figure it out on his own. He gave up a couple of seconds later and played video games instead. FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It was also the first time he'd ever had sex. How could I tell? He cried all the way through, and called his parents right after. FML
Today, I was messing with my boyfriend in my basement. We are both virgins and he wanted to perform oral sex on me for the first time. Naked, we finally decided to try to have sex. We discovered the act is much harder than it may seem. We're both still virgins. FML
Today, I finally had sex with my boyfriend. I had never gotten so far with a guy, so I was really nervous. He was careful, we tried different positions, "it was fun" and he came. I barely felt anything. FML
Today, I finally felt ready to have sex for the first time, with my boyfriend of nearly 8 months. When I told him, things became intimate and pants came off. He then looked at me and said, "Yeah, I can't do this." The rest of the night was spent in awkward silence. FML
Today, after months of patiently waiting, I finally got my roommates out of the house for the night so I could have sex with my boyfriend for the first time without being interrupted. He couldn't get it up. FML
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Top comments
alex_vik 1
LOL, that's a first. I wonder what it said.. 1. Finger her. 2. Put on condom 3. Insert penis 4. ???? 5. Profit!
Katylolo 0
Okay, that's actually pretty sweet. I mean, he was so worried about doing everything just right for you that he didn't want his nerves to get in the way and forget what he was doing. But maybe this means you guys are a little too young to be doing this? At least be safe, use condoms.
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Comments (260)
forthelulz_fml 0
Did he use a counterclockwise swirl, or a knuckle? Seinfeld reference ftw
Speedyblurr 0
I hate it when people make shit up just to get on this site. THIS IS WHY THIS SITE IS GETTING PROGRESSIVELY WORSE
commonsense 0
atleast he tried xD
jayfx 0
whaaat? fingering doesn't feel good? damn! i have to scratch that off the list lol he was probably panicking.. like "OMG WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?!"
tincan 0
Omg, that's so cute XD and what #6 said.
CrizpyCreme19 0
hahahahahaha
mrquinn1 0
rofl he deserves a second chance if he's not a douchebag.
gabbyh 0
lol I think this is kinda cute. He was obviously worried about pleasing you, and he sounds like he's really sweet. Give him a break! Nice guys are the best in bed =]
gross__ 0
aweeee that's cute.
Uttercutter09 0
That is so sweet. He was obv worried about pleasing you, and making it important. It shows he cares enough that he actually took notes. He must have been just as nervous as you. You shouldn't harp on him. Where was your effort in this? I'm not trying to be mean, but you should give him another chance and not humilate him. I tmust have taken alot of courage to even take out the notes. If you dont want him, I'll take him