Today, I discovered that anyone can see your Threads replies to other people. My wife kicked me out of our house because she saw one I made under a high school friend’s gym selfie, saying, “I’d walk 100 miles barefoot through broken glass and rusty nails just to hear dat ass fart on a walkie talkie." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out the hard way that other people can see your replies on Threads. I’m now sleeping on the couch and my girlfriend gave me 10 days to find another place to live. FML
Today, thanks to my asshole coworker and his obsession of posting pictures and tagging me in them on Facebook after I repeatedly told him not to, my wife found out about a party we had with colleagues only. I’m seen in several photos kissing my work bestie, who I hoped I’d keep under wraps until now. FML
Today, my husband is upset because somewhere out there, on a long forgotten social media site, is a picture of me mooning my geography teacher's house. He doesn’t like that my ass is on the internet. It’s a 30 year-old pic, out of focus, taken on a damn flip phone, and you can’t even see my face. FML
Today, I found out my husband is still friends with someone who talks a lot of crap about me. FML
Today, I heard my neighbors having a violent argument in their front yard. I listened in, and soon found out why the wife wasn't happy with her husband. Apparently, she had caught her husband peeking through my windows for the second time this month. FML
Today, I found out that my wife had been debating leaving me for an old boyfriend from high school. They rekindled their relationship on Facebook, and talking on the cell phone. Both things I insisted she have. FML
Today, I fucked up by clicking on my ex's new partner's stories while deep-diving into their Instagram. Now they know I'm still lurking in the shadows of their social media because they can see who viewed their stories, and I can feel the judgment radiating through the screen. FML
Today, I found texts between my wife and her boyfriend making fun of me. They would sext right before my wife would be with me so she could think of him. She brags about how she picks random fights with me, stalks me, withholds sex, and calls our son names as well. I cannot wait to present these screenshots during our divorce hearing. FML
Today, my wife forced me to delete a female friend’s number off my phone because she’s jealous of our friendship. She then showed me a demonstration of what will happen if I contact her again, with a photo she got from her Facebook, gasoline, and a match to “make sure we understand each other.” FML
Today, I came home from work to find my things outside my yard and the door locks changed. I called my wife to let me in and she told me to go live with, “That homewrecking whore who texted you last night” instead. She’s talking about my cousin, who informed me via text that my aunt’s in the hospital. FML
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Top comments
GoogieWithers 25
Did she throw you out because you left a message for another woman or because she was so embarrassed about what you said?
FluffythePink 23
You're flirting (horribly, creepily) with another woman and moaning that your wife found out and kicked your ***** arse out? Boo ******* hoo...
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Comments (10)
FluffythePink 23
You're flirting (horribly, creepily) with another woman and moaning that your wife found out and kicked your ***** arse out? Boo ******* hoo...
Thaylok 17
And you are throwing a Pity Party because???
Underscore_foo 5
Grow up dude. You’re a married man, it’s immature and cringe asf commenting or thinking stuff like that.
copalolita 16
What the actual…. dude that lame pickup line is so 2011. grow up
GoogieWithers 25
Did she throw you out because you left a message for another woman or because she was so embarrassed about what you said?
poopface82 25
I’m not sure which is worse, the crassness of this message or the stupidity of it.
core01 30
Your IQ is single digit
Iamthebanzai22 21
And let me guess: You send messages like this to multiple girls? How's that working out for you?
mmm1810 22
There’s your first problem, you’re using Threads
Lffayen 4
I find it hilarious yall are assuming it's flirtingwith a female rather than messing with a male buddy. It could seriously have been a joke from their past.