Today, my three year-old son accidentally spilled strawberry jelly on my husband’s work shirt. My husband threw a huge fit, and went on a huge rant about how he was going to be late for work. He also said, and I quote, “Why couldn’t you just get a fucking abortion?” in front of our son. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my husband was changing our son’s overflowing diaper. Instead of getting up and walking the putrid mess to the bin, he decided to shoot it basketball-style. He missed and it hit the wall, sliding down leaving a huge sloppy streak. He expected me to clean it. FML
Today, I lashed out at the father of my son for not doing anything for the baby. He replied, “I never did shit for you to begin with, didn’t you watch the preview? You knew what you were getting yourself into.” FML
Today, I was at Costco, with my six year-old and my baby. I turned my back on them to grab something off a shelf and heard the baby scream. I turned around and saw my son dumping a gallon jug of mayonnaise all over my baby in his stroller. FML
Today, I had my second miscarriage. My husband responded by throwing a bitch fit because I "totally blindsided him with this miscarriage shit” knowing he wanted kids, and if he'd known he wouldn’t have married me in the first place. He threw his wedding band in the trash and stormed off. FML
Today, I told to my son that I'm pregnant. After I'd told him, he looked up and yelled, "Fuck this shit!" and walked out of the room. My son is nine years-old. FML
Today, my husband tried to annoy me by slurping on his almost-finished drink. I yelled at him to knock it off. Later, our daughter told her class that mommy and daddy had been fighting about his drinking during breakfast. FML
Today, my husband broke a set of dishes, told me I had to clean it all up, and stormed out of the house. It’s now 3:30am and he still hasn’t come home. Our 5 year-old son keeps asking about him. What warranted all this? Asking him how his day went. FML
Today, my 3 year-old son projectile vomited on me. I was covered head to toe in blue Gatorade vomit. FML
Today, my husband and I got into a huge argument. He called me wasteful for throwing out old food. He insisted that you can simply pick the mold off and the food was perfectly fine. He’s going to kill our kids. FML
Today, my husband threw an epic tantrum because I asked him to put away the leftovers from dinner. Yeah, because I guess me going to the grocery store, then preparing and serving the food AFTER working a 10 hour day wasn’t enough. Thanks babe. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
J_Free_Woods 29
WHAT. THE. ACTUAL. FRICK???!!! That is such an effed up thing to say to a kid. I am so sorry OP.
BurnInDemonFire 39
What's his secret? From this interaction you've made it seem like your husband/father of your child is a huge asshole, but there's obviously more to him because you wouldn't have married and had a baby with an asshole. So what are his pros?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (8)
J_Free_Woods 29
WHAT. THE. ACTUAL. FRICK???!!! That is such an effed up thing to say to a kid. I am so sorry OP.
BurnInDemonFire 39
What's his secret? From this interaction you've made it seem like your husband/father of your child is a huge asshole, but there's obviously more to him because you wouldn't have married and had a baby with an asshole. So what are his pros?
RichardPencil 32
Hey, it's because he got Mama laid that he ended up in such jam. I hope he gets pectin the face by an angry bird.
Ubehage 32
If that was me, I would tell him in very hard words that that was the last time he ever said that! Send him on vacation for a month, and if he wants to come back then he better have changed his behavior. FYL indeed
[email protected] 4
I think maybe you should keep the kid and "abort" the asshole you're married to!!!
metroido 21
jesus christ. the kid made a typical mistake that 3 year olds make. i understand being mad about being late for work, but you simply don’t say that to a CHILD. no matter how angry you are.
protoskore 27
too late for an abortion, not too late for a divorce
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Wow... that is wrong on so many levels. Your husband is the one acting like an immature three-year-old if he's throwing a tantrum about being late for work. Go change your damn shirt, you asshole. Seriously, saying that is NOT okay. I can't even think of a response other than abort the marriage.