Today, my Canadian friend is staying a few days at my parents' house. I drove him from the airport, only to find my idiot dad had decked the spare room out with maple syrup bottles. He keeps saying "Eh" all the time and asked "What's he so upset aboot?" when my friend was offended. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, here in Canada, my father-in-law talked to me about how people who are "not Canadians" are destroying the country. He called me an "import" several times within the course of an hour. I've been a citizen for over twenty years. FML
Today, I've been living in Canada for past two years, and my friend from the States came to visit. He was talking about how Canadians are so polite, but I was in total denial, that he didn't know anything. While I was arguing with him, a guy in front of us walked into a pole, then apologized to it. FML
Today, my father came back from a business trip in Canada. He handed me an "I Love Canada" pen. He brought back an Xbox 360 for my younger brother. FML
Today, I had to explain to my grandfather that Canadians aren't evil by reminding him that he's Canadian. FML
Today, I brought my girlfriend home to introduce to my parents. My dad thought it would be hilarious to fill some clear bags full of flour, then pretend he was sampling a cocaine shipment when she arrived. She excused herself very quickly and isn't answering my calls. FML
Today, my dad has been hitting the bottle, and will only respond to anything I say in a slurred rap. FML
Today, I went to a concert with a friend of mine. When his dad came to pick him up, I walked towards the car, expecting a ride. His dad told me he didn't have time to drive me home. I'm his neighbour. FML
Today, I've been staying with my parents while I have time off from school. They got drunk and started an entire family fight because my dad made pizza and my mom is lactose intolerant. She insists my dad did it on purpose because, "he's an asshole and knows I can't eat cheese." FML
Today, my friend got a text showing his girlfriend cheating on him. Sounds like his FML, but he was at my house. He then worked his way through a bottle of my whisky and went into a drunken rage. He threw my furniture through windows, punched holes in the wall, and smashed stuff until I had to call the cops. FML
Today, my partner's mother and I had been planning a little surprise get-together for his birthday. A surprise weeks in the making was ruined by my dad asking, "Aren't you supposed to be going to (his parent's town name) this afternoon?" in front of him. Thanks dad. FML
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Top comments
CurvyisCool 22
*gets offended* I'm sorry, I didn't mean for you to offend me. Canadians.
patrickeli 15
Your dad needs to work on his hospitality.
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Comments (126)
Notverycreeative 13
Canadians don't have much of a sense of humor aye?
anonymous1604_fml 19
GAHAHAHAHAAHAHA I think I would love your dad
purepumpkin 12
I'm Canadian and I would've found this hilarious.
wolfman0_o 17
Lol
Britt125 16
Seriously though, what is he upset aboot, eh? I'd have taken all the maple syrup because it's awesome, and then just had fun with the stereotypes. I could have talked about my pet moose, and losing my toque so I was late for the hockey game at the big igloo, though maybe I wouldn't have been if I hadn't stopped for timmies (But you just can't go without timmies), stuff like that eh? It would have been so much fun, eh?
Ina_Pickle 4
You need to find a friend with a sense of humor. Most Canadians have one. You managed to get a defective model.
cantfixme36 28
I'm sorry but... As a Canadian, I wouldn't be offended by this. Maybe a little bit annoying in the way that excessive dad jokes are annoying, but otherwise slightly humorous
grunt_fml 17
Hm, since I am german, I wonder how this man would decorate the room for me. I have my suspicions.
vivaellefashion 14
He sure knows how to welcome a guest. Not funny, not funny at all.
ashtic 20
Kind of petty for the friend to get offended, just do what everyone else does and laugh it off