Today, I strained so hard while on the toilet that I gave myself a nosebleed. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I strained so hard trying to take a crap that I broke a blood vessel in my eye. FML
Today, I got a nosebleed. For 7 hours. I ended up in the ER. FML
Today, as the clock struck twelve for the new year, I was in the bathroom having a nosebleed. FML
Today, I had a cold and was vomiting. I sneezed really hard, smacking my nose onto the toilet seat. I woke up a few minutes later with my nose bleeding, painful, and still stuffy. FML
Today, I gave myself a hernia while farting. FML
Today, I had a nosebleed at work after having recent surgery. As I was walking to the bathroom, I tripped and fell, sending blood splattering everywhere. My manager, who was walking by, looked at me and said, “You’re really committed to the bit.” I was too embarrassed to respond. FML
Today, I had to squat to retrieve something from the bottom of the cabinet in the bathroom. This caused me to fart and startle myself enough that I jumped and banged my forehead on the sink. FML
Today, I was taking a dump and I pushed so hard that I got light headed and passed out on the floor. FML
Today, after a very painful mouth surgery, I went home to take a nap. Then my nose started bleeding, so I stuck a tissue in it and fell asleep. When I woke up, I was so high from painkillers that when I saw the tissue, I thought it was a ghost. I screamed so loud I burst a stitch. FML
Today, I woke up bleeding from every orifice in my body. I've got a nose bleed from my medication, my gums bled when I brushed my teeth, I'm on my period, and I have hemorrhoids. FML
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Top comments
_parth 20
Damn. Did you activate all your superpowers to do that? Fyl op.
tony1891 22
you may wanna start eating more fiber then.
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Comments (58)
AcrusaderA 10
Dude, eat some celery or something
QXR2 14
You are not alone. It has happened to me as well on more than one occasion.
mishwarner 14
Eat better. Fibre works a treat
Aussie75 10
Upside: you didn't prolapse your rectum? See always a silver lining.
Ipsum629 13
*butt Explodes*
Hangryko 32
Eat a g.d. vegetable once in a while.
lexxiasaurus 31
you might want to look into Smooth Move tea, it has a gentle laxative in it, my mom drinks it to help her poop more than once a week. fiber, coffee, cannabis is also a diuretic (if you're of age) never push too hard, that is going to lead to hemorrhoids