Today, I unpacked in my new, non-air conditioned apartment wearing nothing but underwear, a tank top and an apron to stay cool. Later, I realized I'd crossed through the complex to my car and the dumpster many times, and arranged my deck overlooking the parking lot, without ever donning shorts. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I had to run to put the trash out for the garbage truck, only I was so hungover, I forgot I was only wearing an open dressing gown and no underwear. A few neighbours and passing cars got to see me swinging in the breeze. FML
Today, I was at my new store, fixing it up. I was about to leave, so I took my clothes off to let the dirty ones dry, as I had other clothes in my car. I walked to the back of my store and the back door locked. The car was locked. I was in my boxers with no phone and no way to go home for 3 hours. FML
Today, I went to do laundry in my apartment building. I thought no one was around, so I walked down in my pajamas (a giant t-shirt with holes and socks with sandals). Of course, I ran into the neighbor I’ve had a crush on for months. He was shirtless, holding a laundry basket like an ad for cologne. He smiled and said, “Nice, erm, outfit?” I’ve never sprinted back upstairs faster. FML
Today, I cycled to work. Since it was so hot out, I decided to go shirtless, then I would put it on before I entered the building. Ninety minutes later, I arrived at work. My shirt, however, was still at home on my dresser. FML
Today, I went to a fancy restaurant. I was coming right from work and brought a change of clothes with me. I parked in an empty corner of the parking lot to change. As I was pulling my pants up, I noticed that I was facing an apartment complex where an old guy was watching me from his balcony. FML
Today, I ran out of moving boxes so I used a few garbage bags to pack up my clothes. My new roommate decided to be helpful by putting those green garbage bags in the dumpster. It was garbage day. FML
Today, I finally cleaned my apartment and felt accomplished. I took the trash out, walked back in, and promptly locked myself out in slippers, holding nothing but a banana. I sat on the stairs waiting for help, questioning every life choice. FML
Today, I discovered that when the man living in the house behind me thinks no one in the surrounding area is home, he likes to take his laundry off the line wearing nothing but a pair of sandals. FML
Today, I came home from a New Year's party wearing a shower curtain and nothing else. FML
Today, I got myself locked out of my apartment whilst taking the trash out. I was wearing pyjamas, holding a banana, and I'd left my phone inside. My neighbours learned a lot about me, seeing as no one recognised me and I had to explain that I actually live in the building. FML
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Top comments
Christopher723 0
Lucky neighbors!
iwabo 9
an apron? why?
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Comments (153)
disappearingink 0
I think you made a good impression on your new neighbors!
amyhanks 0
Lmao, sounds like something I'd do.
Gr1m_ 0
Now you'll have some very friendly neighbours :)
dugumit 0
omg how funny my neighbour does that too. except she is a meth addict.
little_bubba85 4
I don't see how this is a FML
TXGIRL84 0
whatever there's no way you can't tell your shorts aren't on unless your a ****** idiot. you just wanted attention
ndizzle 0
We'll make a deal. if you either post naked pics of yourself OR start using punctuation properly, we'll stop asking for (or making jokes about) the OP posting pics. You in?
mpclaw 3
what is your age and weight? I need that in order to make the correct inappropriate remark.
LetsGoPens87 0
first off you said without donning shorts which pisssed me off then i was pissed by just re reading ur post. who cares...get over it....wah wah wah someone might of seen me in my underwear...suck it up
cunningchick 1
Arnt you a asshole! She just moved into a new apt and now everybody has seen her in her underwear! And why the hell does the word 'donning' piss you off?
Josh7006 0
Depends on what you look like, see what happens next when you find out who saw you.