Today, I stuffed my buttcrack with toilet paper right before my job interview because I tend to sweat there a lot and I was wearing a white skirt. I went to the bathroom afterward to take it out but it wasn't there anymore. It could have only gone up two places. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was on the toilet at work. After a very loud and very smelly session, I waited until the other stall had been vacated to keep my anonymity. As I leant forward for some toilet roll, my ID fell out of my pocket and into the next stall. When I came out, it was face up near the sink. FML
Today, while at work, I had to poop. While wiping, I somehow managed to get the back tail of my shirt in between my butthole and the toilet paper, effectively wiping my ass with my white dress shirt. FML
Today, I was suffering from some gastric distress. While on my way to a job interview, I slipped on some concrete that was wet due to a recent slight rain shower. I didn't fall. I DID shit my pants though. I walked back home slowly in shame to clean up the mess. I didn't make it to the interview. FML
Today, I nailed a job interview and they hired me on the spot. The only problem was I was bursting at the seams and had to poop really bad. After destroying their bathroom and taking my leave, not an hour later I got a phone call saying they're "gonna go a different direction." FML
Today, I was walking out of work. I felt like everyone was staring at me but brushed it off. It wasn't until I got home that I realized I had toilet paper sticking out of my pants. FML
Today, I shat myself during a job interview. FML
Today, while waiting for my job interview to start, I tried to slip out a silent fart. It ended with shit running down my leg. FML
Today, I had a job interview. I stopped to take a pee in the lobby before I went in. I relaxed a bit too much at the urinal and accidentally farted. I chuckled about it like a 5 year-old for a few seconds. The guy who had been next to me at the urinal was the interviewer. FML
Today, I went in for an interview. While I was waiting to be called, I used the restroom. When I stood up to wipe, I slipped on the floor and fell ass first into the unflushed toilet. I was found an hour later, covered in my own shit and too injured to move. FML
Today, while I was at work, I didn't have any panty liners so I used tissue. I was taking orders when I suddenly felt the tissue trailing down my leg. I tried not to move, but it inevitably fell through my pants onto the floor in front of my co-workers. I swiftly put it into my pocket. Luckily, it had nothing on it. FML
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Top comments
wholelottaROSIE_fml 0
if youve got a sweaty buttcrack, dont wear a white skirt. its really not that hard.
Guiseppi 0
Probably fell out, hon.
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Comments (72)
Neckyl 6
I'm confused...is this a real story? It wouldn't have gone up anywhere. It would have fallen out or disintegrated. I assume the only reason someone would do this is because they aren't wearing underwear, in which case it definitely fell out. That being said, why wouldn't you just wear a slip or an extra pair of undies if you knew this was an issue? Weirdo....
cwl727 33
It could have fallen out.
hunterhorrible 4
How don't you know the difference between your ****** and asshole...
creativityisnt 19
Baby powder works wonders.. Try that next time!
shessovain 7
Or it fell out.
cantfixme36 28
Or fallen out of your underwear... Being that both your rear and your hoo-ha would have to be pretty loose to get it up there....
LyricaSilvan 30
Or maybe they fell out...?
Elok92 2
There's an app for that!!
kevinsagirl2323 8
you're an idiot. it obviously fell out. do you really think it just got sucked in by your butthole??
peterblackmer91 12
Are you serious? It didn't go up anywhere. It fell out. And if you sweat there why on earth would you wear a white skirt?