Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo-doo

Relax

Today, I found out that my favorite song since I was a small child is actually about anal sex and delaying an orgasm. FML

Today, I bought one of my favorite albums from when I was growing up. When I looked at the liner notes, I learned that my favorite song on the album wasn't about taking a bath, but about going to a brothel. My second-favorite isn't about moving, but about suicide. My childhood just shattered. FML

Most good songs are

Today, I discovered that one of my favourite, relatable sad songs is actually a song about gay sex. FML

High on emotion

Today, a woman I’ve liked for years falsely claimed to be strung out on crystal meth rather than just turning me down. FML

Today, I discovered my sister has a crystal meth problem when she set fire to our house. FML

Today, I found out that the very good-looking woman who sings for one of my favorite bands is actually a guy. FML

Spotified

Today, I found my daughter's "sex songs" playlist. I was more disappointed by her poor taste in music than the fact that she is already sexually active. FML

Charity

Today, I found out that the dude I love has been taking the money I used to support him and buying heroin with it. FML

Crushed

Today, I found out that my crush and best friend dumped her boyfriend, and she has been sexting two of our male friends who are married, with kids, and has started hooking up with a meth head. Guess I'm losing a lot of friends in the future… FML

TMI

Today, I learned that my girlfriend gives good head. I didn't find out by getting one, I found out by my drunk best friend telling me. FML