Today, I saw a folder on my son's PC named "PussyPictures". I sat him down for a talk, only to be told they contained pictures of the James Bond character Pussy Galore, for his essay about sexism in movies. He's now mocking me for "having a dirty mind". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found my son's porn. I would sit him down for a talk, but the genres were so disturbing that I'm afraid to even ask about it. FML
Today, my 8-year-old son eagerly showed me a PowerPoint he made. It consisted of REALLY graphic and gory descriptions of a guy getting murdered, complete with pictures from the internet. He was laughing the whole time he was showing me this, and even set one of the images as his desktop background. FML
Today, my mom finally noticed the joke file I have on my PC desktop called "bigcocklovespussy.jpg". It's just a cute picture of a chicken snuggling with a cat. She didn't actually open the file and just deleted it. She won't believe my explanation and grounded me for a month for "looking at porn". FML
Today, I was playing a game with my family where we had to say the name of an actor/actress that started with a certain letter. When I said mine, my dad grounded me because he knew it was a pornstar. Now my mom is mad at my dad for watching porn too. FML
Today, I got called into the school by my daughter's teacher. Apparently my daughter informed her class that over the weekend she spent her time with her daddy watching porn stars while her mummy was at work. It took a long time to convince her they were actually watching a TV show called "Pawn Stars". FML
Today, while I was looking for a file on my boyfriend's hard drive, I came across photos of a half-naked woman wearing my clothes, but whose head wasn't really visible. When I demanded an explanation, I realised that it wasn't another girl - it was him. FML
Today, I was having computer problems, so I let my friend have remote access to fix them. We were video-chatting on Skype at the time, and so he thought it'd be hilarious to load hardcore porn in my browser the moment he saw my mom enter the room from behind me. I'm now grounded. FML
Today, I got a call from my child's preschool saying that "Mindy keeps saying she sits on her daddy's lap and plays with his peter." My daughter meant 'puter, as in computer. Now the school is worried my husband is a child molester. FML
Today, my dad wanted to show me a cool camera he saw on Amazon yesterday, so I let him use my laptop to find it. I realized too late that I'd forgotten to clear my browsing history. The suggested purchases section was filled with dildos and lube. He definitely noticed. FML
Today, I was watching a movie that had a mild sex scene in it. My mother walked in just as that scene was starting and she flipped out. I'm now grounded. She's taken my TV and laptop out of my room and refuses to let me see my boyfriend because she's sure he's the cause of my "disgusting behaviour". FML
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Top comments
chris_a7x 11
Why didn't you open the file first...?
superxmario91 11
Premature parenting.
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Comments (192)
Lioness8197 18
For a second I thought it was going to say it was a folder with pictures of cats. Am I the only one that thought that?
groundzeromma 8
No, you're the last one that thought that obviously, as it was posted earlier in the thread
viper8608 9
yah I was like. totally cat pics.
Lioness8197 18
Okay Groundzeromma. You don't have to be rude about it. Go crawl back in your mancave now.
SApprentice 34
The obvious errors in this FML annoy me. It's "I saw", and "that it contained", not "a saw" and "they it contained".
sushi314 12
You know he's lying, right? Why would he need a folder of photos to write an essay about movies?
Solipsist 12
I keep mine in a binder
CptZoe 10
Your pictures of Pussy Galore or ****?
KaeSAL 11
So I guess you could say you have.... ...A binder full of women?
Solipsist 12
Damn straight ;D
xNephilim 19
It seems like I'm one of the only ones who think it's okay to look at ****, especially considering he's old enough to write an essay on sexism in movies. I mean, come on.
the_true_batman 10
Yeah, I don't really get why it would be such a big deal. It's just ****. So long as it's done in private, it shouldn't be an issue. I can tell you, I'd have had sex with many more girls if it hadn't been for ****, and a lot of those girls I'd regret (especially if I caught anything). Last night was a great example, I was horny as **** and considered attempting to pick up a girl at the bar, and if I didn't have **** as an option I would have done it and probably would have all kinds of diseases (the types of girls who will sleep with a guy they just met are likely to have diseases).
NigerianMedicine 11
Well, at least he has good research material.
Shadow_Phantom 26
You deserve it, entirely. There is nothing wrong with ****, and you have no business snooping around in his files.
rachelmaya 5
Yea true but why not check the file
beatleschick1940 9
I think your kid is the exception, not the rule.
KiddNYC1O 22
He's a master debater.